When you stop taking things so seriously then you start seeing them clearly.
The secret of healing rage is neither repression or guilt. There can only be true healing with understanding. Rage is a language in the world. In a world of conflict and aggression, rage is a response to a world that can turn against you at will. Like anything else, rage has a dynamic of statement and response, action and reaction, and you can’t disconnect from rage. Your mind will still know that what started you on that path is still there, but you can’t find a way around a building if you resist the reality of doors.
To go with language, if someone speaks Spanish to you should you answer in English? People seek to provoke reactions in you, because it’s actually the language. Not accepting the state prevents you from choosing a response in reaction to the state, like rage.
So no communication? Yes, you are right more than words is necessary, and you can often refuse to respond. You won’t respond because you won’t allow yourself to have the state, like flirtation. Mating behaviour stems from lust, and many won’t admit this, but in a round about way they allow themselves to have lust anyway, even if they rationalize it.
Resisting connection is really coming from a resistance of these states? Yes. Often thoughts are not common ground. But emotion is the step above instinct, and takes primacy over words. Words were a late development, and this is why “magic words” don’t seem to work for most people.
Your instincts guide you through states of emotion, but you have to let yourself be in them. Example, someone is angry at me, how do I respond to them? Do I just babble incoherently? When someone presents anger, to communicate with them I do have to go there also, but is anger capable of only one action?
Don’t you resent others making you go there? They don’t make me. They don’t have that power, not normally. I go there because they are present and in contact with me. That’s how all communication is, the initiator sets the realm, but you can own the state more than they do.
I go into all states knowingly. We need to accept the states to connect for a richer life experience. The unemotional person convinces no one of their convictions. The mind automatically asks “Are you serious?”, and heart looks for the displays. Not seeing that, then they disbelieve, but more important than looking for display behaviours, your inner workings are hobbled if you deny emotion. E-motion = motivation. Without an emotive response all choices are mere abstractions. No one is ever sold on logic. That level of awareness doesn’t, and can’t, sort this aspect of life.
Regarding emotion, war is perhaps the most extreme emotion provoking event. Literal fact, absolutely everyone is in fear in war. Which are in control? Those who resist fear? The ones who resist fear are usually the snivelers. “Oh, it’s scary! I don’t want to die!” Do they control the situation?
There is another option. Fear triggers instincts if it’s allowed to exist. It sharpens senses, and can make you a better hunter. Make you more alert and defensive of yourself, but will that happen with thought? This is why fighters say fear is good. It means they are engaged, and have a real awareness of the situation. They know they are losing their composure when they are not afraid. The Norse were legendary warriors. Do you know what they saw as a damning behaviour? Inability to cry. This meant you were useless and unmotivated, and untrustworthy. You wouldn’t know their motivations which was considered treachery. They had little tolerance for anything covert.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.One World class participants. Thank you!)