Truth is beauty, and beauty truth. I have forever gazed upon beauty and am thus moved to engage its dark shadow.
Has everyone heard of alien limb syndrome? Due to some sort of brain abnormality, a person can come to feel one of their body parts does not belong to them. They experience it as an invasive presence, even going so far as having no emotional or even physical quality of life until it’s physically removed or the reaction is otherwise somehow moderated.
A guy froze his own leg and sawed it off. Yes, and felt relief after, actually experienced what he felt was improved well being.
Everyone has alien limbic syndrome. It’s cultural. Our music and art is filled with material suggesting the strangeness and unease or disease we feel with our own emotional beings. We are even taught thoughts and behaviours that if the don’t succeed in cutting it off from us, we at least constrain it, make it go largely numb.
Consider this, those who actually succeed at that are all dead. I mean literally dead. They suicide. That is the ultimate consequence, why we get so frantic, well… Ever have a limb fall asleep so badly that you could no longer continue to ignore it? No matter what you do?
Perhaps why there are so many more male suicides… We are taught to not have emotion. Indeed, more male suicides than female is a matter of record, as well as more violent crime.
So cutting off emotion doesn’t make you any more sane or fair either as much as people like to insist otherwise. They speak insanity like “I didn’t let my emotions interfere.” It is wise not to let your reactions interfere, but your feelings have nothing to do with that. The person who speaks of that tends to be the type who wouldn’t recognize an emotional reaction if it could differentiate from them and bite their back side.
We try to solve the problem of the minds weakness, with the minds weakness. We try to stop injuring ourselves by cutting the very faculty of our own agency away, like trying to learn to paint well by cutting your hands off. You might still accomplish it, but it will be despite your supposed problem solving not because of it. What is your own experience of your self image like? Does it make you happy?
When I am successful at what I’m doing, my self image is much better.
No. It makes my stomach tight.
Sometimes ok, other times not.
Is anyone’s self image anything other than a problem defined? An ‘if then’ statement that always needs solving for x?
When I’m not meeting my own exceptions, then I tend to not want to look at myself.
Chronically, hence my stomach.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.