Life seems to deal in a quantum way, in whole units.
I’m wondering. How do we cope with so much shame going on? Cease identifying with the system, but we can’t take action based on that statement even if it’s clear. In hypnosis, they can’t use the suggestion “quit smoking” to make you quit smoking. You actually have to have a positive or present object of identification, or “ego” if you will, that will not comply with the common views of self assessment.
Interesting. A good use for ego. Yes. Most of what people mean when they talk about ego is actually a set of inherited ideas anyway, and has nothing to do with self determinism. We do need self determinism, and for myself I have found only one way to experience that. Experience itself doing things, indulging our nature, being moved by our curiosity, expressing our inner feelings. No complex metaphysical system proved enough to do that for me. In hindsight, they do impart insights after the fact. They do make things clearer, or can, and even prompt deeper self exploration, but they can’t start the path for you. The path of a thousand miles starts with a very mundane single step.
“I reject your reality and substitute my own.” I embrace that phrase as a motto. I do reject that reality and substitute my own, because I am alive. I have seen and done things and have experienced the consequences. Shame taught me nothing, neither did guilt. Only acting and continuing to act on the set of connections my actions create. Being continuously alive and present in life. Could shame give that to anyone, or does it make us want to be wallflowers in life? What excuse is there for a life unlived? Will we be comforted to tell ourselves “I was dealing with my shame”? Will it feel good to say “I wanted to do something, but I felt too guilty”?
I also think we need to be very diligent in not applying it to others? It creeps into the best of us as a habit. But not applying it to others is simple. You can give only what you have. If you have shame, you will give it. If you have freedom, you will give it. If you are focused on genuine spiritual freedom, you won’t have any time or energy to shame another. It’s a big spiritual world out there, much, too much to experience to be bothered with these petty inherited games like who’s fault it is that you aren’t having a life right now.
If I allowed shame to govern my actions, I couldn’t find the audacity to do these talks here. If I allowed shame to govern my actions, I couldn’t have allowed my wife to enter my life, coming from a higher “social class” as she does. When shame goes, your whole view of your life is a bit more free. You can’t feel the sting of so many ego ideas when you aren’t looking for that sanction from on high. They say God loves you. If this is so then I would say Gods will is in accord with his nature. Can you have shame and love yourself as well?
When we care about our own mistakes and try to fix them, we avoid getting caught up in shame. Exactly, and if we care about our mistakes, how can an error ever be permanent? If you say “Oops, I didn’t mean to do that” and fix it, what does the mistake even matter?
It’s a learning experience, not a shameful experience. Exactly, and I love learning. Learning makes life worth living. What does shame do?
Well, you can’t fix all errors. No, you can’t fix them all, but you can be aware of how they happen, and you can always choose differently in the future. It‘s the same ultimate meaning, and again no shame.
Well then friends, I will unashamedly express my heartfelt gratitude for your presence and support. If all goes well, I will see you in the future. As Jesus said “Be not afraid”. Which also would mean… Be not ashamed.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.