Not having what you want won’t make you saintly. If you’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t, you might as well go ahead.
Happiness is so simple it’s confusing, but generally it confuses children very little. We were all at one time happy. It’s sort of a natural state, and we experience it when we aren’t worried about all the “adult” things which we are taught as children. I have met some very adult children, and I find it rather sad. These same children also tend to be a bit lost. I have actually heard a child when asked by a doctor if they wanted a sucker say “I don’t know, Mommy do I want a sucker?”. As a whole people are still like that, except instead of Mommy and Daddy (we do break away from them), it’s the news, or commercials, or our significant other.
Many foster a surrogate parent relationship with their significant other. It’s sort of not surprising that the divorce rate is so high. Their partner becomes Mommy or Daddy, and then the commercials tell them that you need to be different from your Mom or Dad and can be by choosing this way of living or this set of goals. It’s usually very materialistic, and the “happy” couple drifts apart. In all their getting they wake one morning, and are forced to ask themselves “Who is this person?”. It is possible to be happy with your partner and with the world in general, and as I said before it’s really pretty simple, but because it is it seems very hard.
Be where you are. As a young child when taken to a new place you had only one reaction, “Wow, where is this and what can we do here?”. Perhaps only as a young child since you may have learned dissatisfaction very early if it’s how you were “grown up”. But you might have looked at your parent then, because you had that child like love and were hoping to see that your parent was as excited as you were. You might have, but likely didn’t. This same scenario repeated itself many times when you were young. It still does now, but now you are the “grown up”. You are very busy being grown up about where you are, and grown up about what you are doing. Are you happy?
I would put forth that it’s possible. A child can mature to have a broader experience of the world, have engaged with more things, learned much and had that original innocence replaced with wisdom, and yet also in a sense still have innocence. Still living life and saying “Oh wow, what now?” “What can I do here?”. Rather than “Well I tried that, but failed so I just can’t do that.”, and “I really want to do this thing, but it’s not responsible and would make me lose the respect of my peers”, “It would make me look silly, and I can’t have that. I need to be a respectable adult”. Do you really now, or do you need to be happy? Maybe you just need to sit down in your yard and watch bugs, just for a little bit. Why not now, rather than feel all stressed out and afraid 24/7? Why not sit and watch bugs? Are they less interesting?
I will do it! They are fascinating!! Yes, maybe when you get the chance to watch bugs, come and tell me about what you saw.
I just went out for a “social” cigarette, and I saw the wind take leaves and make a small twister. Then I thought to myself, big forces are responsible for making this pattern circular, but it is gentle and cannot lift a brick. As if to answer me the wind started blowing really hard and propelled all the leaves in one direction over many a hundred yard. Then I said out loud, Ok I was wrong. I was thinking in terms of Newton’s etc. It was amazing wasn’t it? Yet we do all these grown up things; have social cigarettes, social drinking of alcohol, social competitive matches, gambling, social use of cocaine. Most drug use is very social. Even just being worried and miserable is social. People won’t relate to you if you sit and look at bugs. Supposedly if you do that you’re crazy. You need to take pictures or show them. Show me, tell me. Last I checked poisoning yourself is crazy. Making yourself crazy with worry is crazy, isn’t it? We feel what we feel when we feel it, and yet we are taught to not feel things. This includes happiness. Some feelings have a context, but very many don’t.
Yet play with a poisonous bug, and they will call you crazy enough to be on TV. Indeed, if you’re playing with a poisonous bug then yes, they are jealous of you. It’s exotic, because they are jaded. Wonder. It doesn’t change. Love. Well, love doesn’t change either. Your ability to love is always there even if you feel bitter and rejected. It’s where you get the energy from to be all emo, because plane and simple you still love and can still love. And happiness, it’s still there. It’s not bad to be alive, and it’s not bad to be active, and it’s not bad to be in wonder, is it? If not, then how are you not happy?
It just gets tiring having everyone look at you like you have two heads? Indeed, so drop the fake one maybe? It’s made of filth, fear, and disease. People are often afraid of filth, disease, and themselves. That’s why they keep the fake head. They call it ego in some groups. They dress it up, and say it’s good, or pretty, or smart. They just keep polishing the waste and even get praised for their artistry with waste. It is still waste.
Two heads? Maybe costly in Qtips, but you can eat both chocolate and vanilla at the same time? Indeed, having hot chocolate and vanilla is one experience though they can be experiences separately also, and those are new experiences.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.