Words aren’t evil, though fixation can be a source of pain.
What if you just haven’t a clue who that self is? It’s just too confusing. You have all the clues. Your confusion, that is you, and people reject those confused moments, think they are just distractions, and that everything will be all right if they just get back to work.
The clues are confusing me then. Being confused is ok. You have to be confused before you have a chance at any real understanding.
What do you experience when confused?
Being confused makes me think.
Like there is something on the tip of my tongue.
How do you want to behave when confused?
Things that tend to surface when I’ve forgotten about them.
Makes you pay more attention to what’s happening, huh?
Loss of direction. We want to retreat? That’s just thinking. We are trained to retreat from confusion. We are trained to fear heightened awareness. I highly recommend watching bugs, and being utterly confused, as confused as you possibly can. You will find it has limits, and beyond that confusion is where you open the door to understanding. But you can’t just pretend the door is not there, deny the reality of doors.
Flies tick me off when I open the door to let them out and they fly the other way. Yes, flies are very confusing. Then I find it dead on the window sill a couple days later. What if I told you humans do that too? I open doors all the time. The mind is a mansion of countless doors. People’s patterns of thinking always have what seem like endless holes in them, gaps.
Yes, I guess we ignore those doors held open for us. I open the door and most people go the other way. They have to keep their sense of orientation, their old sense of self. It’s not comfortable to go outside, but you always have that option, and no, it doesn’t take drugs like the psychedelic fans seem to believe. It really doesn’t take any special practice at all though practices can serve as an anchor for our habitual thinking.
It takes breathing. Oh, indeed certainly takes breathing. That’s a must. It also takes seeing, and I really mean seeing. There are blind people who see much better than the sighted ever do. People look and recognize and assume, they rarely see. In those moments, they do truly see. They are taken aback, are confused and amazed. They start asking people around them, was that always like that? And they say yes, but they don’t know what you are talking about, because they never had any sense of how you originally saw it.
Face our self and we face (and conquer?) all our fears? Indeed, that’s why I called this class “fear of self.” Face yourself, each nuance of yourself, and your fears are realized as just a sense. You have to realize that your hand is not your foot, and that your foot is not your mouth, just like an infant.
People who don’t face themselves cannot listen to others. Not fully, that’s true.
Or accept them. They never accepted themselves. This is why people struggle so much with that, believe it’s so hard. They think it involves accepting a set of thoughts or ideas, experiences or beliefs. You don’t have to accept any of these things.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.