Sadness isn’t itself a virtue. You know your heart best when it breaks, and you can come to see, that though you feel grief, your heart isn’t actually “broken”.
Try that unusual way of preparing your desired food. Try that strange way of problem solving. These will only put you more in touch with your own gifts, your own instincts and wisdom.
Laugh at the stupid joke, and see if you can make a worse one, but above all, immunize yourself to belief in the false. False = fixed, dead. If it goes nowhere then never you mind it. If it offers nothing and solved nothing than you need concern yourself with it not at all. By showing things to others in your behaviour, not being frightened into dwelling in the dead ends, you do for them the only thing you can, cut a path out, blaze a trail away from the cliff. You can’t make them walk it, but every mark you leave, every exception your behaviour creates to their rules, leaves them a little closer to figuring it out themselves, even if they are otherwise fighting it tooth and claw.
That process of suggestion I mentioned earlier, coupled with pure survival instinct, will eventually lead them out of it, and it may be you that they come seeking advice from if they are not too intimidated by your track record of powerful action. We all know powerful people, those who all seem to display more mastery of change than the rest of our social circle. That person who just seems more on top of things even if they don’t seem to actually know more than others around them.
Oh, I hate it when my husband starts a conversation with “I suggest….” It makes me feel more like his kid than his wife. There is the posture and then there is the evidence. You can’t hide genuine power, as the Hawaiian people called it, mana. They become known as the people who change things. The people who solve problems even when they don’t seem to know how they do it. They don’t have a plan. They just fix things. These are valuable examples… People who work to one degree or another from their personal instincts. At the very least they provide proof that this insight and power is possible.
What may have previously been lacking is understanding, but even understanding is possible. But you can’t reach understanding by holding yourself above human experience, human opinion or imagination. If you would prefer not to feel hurt by human opinion, then rather than avoid it, take it further. You will find that there is a whole rainbow of reactions to whatever it is that you hold so tenderly, that leaves you subject to hurt feelings. No one opinion is any more blind than another, and since this is true, do you really have to be upset at any one opinion?
I think people use their hurt feelings or pretend they have hurt feelings to control actions. I doubt all people of different races are offended by slurs.
Yes, I’ve seen that, act offended in order to make the person backtrack.
Better still to illustrate the offence, play the game of devils advocate. You can have great fun leading people down the horrific path their ignorant thinking started them on.
But we bend over backwards to try and take that offence away anyways.
I had a young man accuse me of not serving him a beer because he was dark skinned when he had no ID to show me. What do I say in response to that? I just shrugged at him. He got angry when I served the guy behind him who was white but obviously old enough. It’s the law we have to ask for ID to anyone that looks under the age of 30. You can pretend you are shocked at the idea that you are not dark skinned, or ask to see a relaxed patrons ID again, right where he can see you do it. Ask to see the oldest patrons ID.
Yeah, I should have asked the older man for his. It might have made his day. They often find amusement at that.
But I really hate other races using that racist card on me. Then in fact you are justifying it.
Probably. You draw a line that blinds you to their genuine concern. Really, why do you hate it? And what does it benefit you to hate it? What does it say about you that you hate it? What productive outcome does that attitude have? Is anyone happier or better from it?
Because some people will use any means available to get special privileges.
None, only that I know I can’t really stop it.
Then these people should see those means used to their logical conclusion. If they are wrong to do so, then their tactic will have an undesirable implied meaning which is never anything they actually want.
Perhaps a parting thought, why is being special a bad thing? Why should special privileges be denied?
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.