You can’t trust another till you trust yourself, because if you don’t trust yourself then how do you know who’s trustworthy?
Tell me friends, how do you come about your obligations? Onerous ones? No, all.
- Good question. Training from parents.
- Yes, parents for me too, and husband.
- Being born.
- A lot is programmed for me.
- Voluntarily. Then you are well set, but is all your voluntary behaviour self chosen?
Are there many ways to define obligation? As many as there are people who hold your obligation in theory, but what about your part in that decision?
To me it kind of goes with responsibility. Response ability. We all have response ability, because as our life happens only we will make the choice of what we will do, but why don’t we do that with obligation?
A response can be both voluntary and involuntary can it not? Yes, it can, but should it be involuntary? We do have proper and natural obligations, don’t get me wrong. I am not speaking against obligation, but how many obligations do we hold to blindly?
My natural obligations is towards my ailing twin. You need to see to your ailing twin for your own reasons? I feel there are many lifetimes of obligations with her. Possibly, and altruism isn’t totally invalid. But often times we are so embedded in the concept of altruism and the false reward it promises our ego, that we sink into self sabotaging behaviour. We degrade any offering we might have to give, and even situations that we do genuinely believe in helping.
When you are looking at your obligations, it would be mistaken to invalidate them all. Much of what you enjoy in life comes from an interplay, and therefore exchange between you and another person, and you may enjoy more of your life than you think you do. In those cases, it isn’t right to declare the situation unfair. Often times, in the case of an unfair implied obligation, the proper choice is to not react, to not move into the mindset that motivated that person into trying to manipulate you in the first place. Thoughts?
- Manipulation is a big one. Using guilt. I find I am becoming better at saying no as I get older.
- I’ve been better at saying no when I know I’m being manipulated.
This is the biggest way people foster bogus obligations in you, though sometimes the person who’s manipulating you is only trying to secure a return on favours they have done for you and were open about. So not all manipulation is wrong.
Especially spotting passive-aggressive manipulations. Yes, passive aggressive behaviour is never valid.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.One World class participants. Thank you!)