Self awareness is the perception of the factor of your presence in life beyond circumstances. It’s what makes you believe you are capable of self determined action whether you actually practice that or not.
Some people believe that people in general never change. This is in my experience thoughtlessly misguided. People change like dust being blown on the wind. Every little stimuli, every little drama, does “something” to them, and they think they lose self when one of their circumstances changes though they took no thought for the balance of factors that allowed that circumstance to arise, or that would let it endure. Is this not so?
They attach self to the habit of life. There is no self to be found in habit. That’s a loss of self awareness, not any form of finding it.
So is self the unique way that each person reacts to circumstances? No. It’s their potential to choose a unique way, or to choose a homogenous way, and it’s more than that.
Buddhists say the self doesn’t exist. It exists. No idea of self exists or can exist. Perhaps an example.
From time to time, usually only when I am very angry, I withdraw into my self awareness and I act from there. This form of planning recontextualizes every aspect of an exchange, overt and subtle, and often has no overt event that other people can track. Events stem from the self, and I can feel events arising in the self of others. But they are usually not self aware, so a little push from my awareness sets them on a very predictable chain of behaviours. They think it’s the voice of God, or of some departed loved one, or just don’t think about it much at all and just act on impulse or react defensively. It’s sort of like playing with a water clock. Just start the flow going and everything else handles itself.
Now, I only do this when I am feeling bitter for a reason. I am feeling bitter because others are not self aware. They don’t join me on that level. Anything I initiate could be easily countermanded. If they could center in self, if they would choose to, then we might be able to fully communicate. But I usually try other methods. It is more palatable for me to meet people on a middle ground, even if I have to go farther than they do.
If I wanted to center in self, what would I do? What does it feel like? It feels like no feeling. It feels like feelings are light illuminating your senses. It feels like all that you experience is the same as your conventional body awareness. It feels like all that you think is just a collection of objects occupying a space around you, and that your senses are just displays that can be used to form new thoughts or ignored however you choose. This seem strange?
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.