There are no coincidences. The line of cause and affect may be very abstract, but it is there.
The inner watch dog can be brought up to speed by the same process that lead it to be confused. When you realize that you are reacting instinctively not to something concrete but rather to things you imagine, you can change what you imagine.
Your real life is what you imagine it to be. The literal physical mechanical parts of your life are so superficial to be beneath cognitive recognition. A sort of infra-experience. What you actually need in order to exist is so fundamental that your thinking can’t effectively help you with it. Think too much on what it is to walk, and you won’t walk any better and can wind up walking worse.
But don’t get me wrong, the imagination isn’t meaningless either. It governs your entire behavioural scope, and your behaviours do have outcomes, consequences. So can we live well and be unimaginative?
You can’t live at all? The person who describes themselves as unimaginative is admitting to being narrow minded. They have a rigidly defined model of reality that they delusionally believe has the answers to all their problems.
So what is the point of resentment? Why did we develop the habit in the first place? We form habits to serve a purpose, even if we don’t consciously create them.
To make me feel special? It can be to make you feel special, but it ultimately locks you into feeling frustrated and even powerless.
Resentment is ‘wrong’ imagination? Perhaps somehow fed into us by people who have influence over us? Well, wrong only in the sense that it is frozen. Like a web browser that won’t update, won’t refresh the page, the information it presents ceases to be correct because it can’t adjust for your current needs or opportunities.
I hate when my browser changes it’s user interface without giving me the option. I resent it. Has your mental browser done that? This happens quite often. The person says, “You made me!”
Perhaps it has recently, but I don’t mind it with my mental browser. Why not? Because I am the one who changed it or allowed it to change. Excellent. That is being centered. And yes, you don’t have to be the only author of your experience. In fact, that also is a delusion.
Perhaps the people I resent most are those who burst my bubble. Dispelling my delusions and forcing my perspective to change when I didn’t want it to. Science has established a new discipline that has been around only since about the mid 90’s, neuro-sociology. What this means is our brains are wired to react to other people’s states of mind, and our emotional and physical health will be impacted by other peoples behaviour regardless of anything else we do. So in your case, someone can burst your bubble even without trying to. They just have to be acting out with a strong enough psychological signal to disturb your personal equilibrium.
I think that covers a lot of cases of resentment. Having to be around that angry or fearful person. But we can recognize that for what it is and recognize what our mind is doing. The socially isolated person reacts to everything and everyone, and behaves in a way that illustrates the principle of garbage in/garbage out. But the more positive connections we have, the more stable we become.
So again, ones bubble can’t be burst against their will when there are enough reference points to support it’s validity. But this can be taken even further because I also empathize with people who are resentful of human influence in general. Human beings can get what amounts to social input from animals and active elements in their environment as well. This is the basis of shamanism in a broad sense, and so if you really want to reject human input you can turn your attention to events as they occur in nature.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.