You can’t trust another till you trust yourself, because if you don’t trust yourself then how do you know who’s trustworthy?
These people you dislike, they aren’t your enemies. They have given you the gift of seeing your own definitions. You can accept that special gift from them, and then not hurt yourself over anything else about them.
There is attachment, aversions and indifference to everyone we meet. It’s the indifference with which I am focusing on. Attachment and aversion are natural, indifference is not. Indifference is a cultivated attitude acquired as we grow down to size. Do you know children to be actually indifferent about anything?
So you can recognise qualities you don’t like and avoid them? Exactly.
It is ok to avoid them and not face them? Yes, that’s fine. They likely want to avoid you also. This is why you don’t connect. If you make a special effort to avoid one of these people, you are really only inconveniencing yourself, and this is neither necessary nor appropriate, but neither should you feel bad because of your reaction to them. If you see someone you don’t like, allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling and then get back to enjoying your life. No bitterness need ensue, and honestly, feeling guilty about not liking someone just hurts you. If they have been actually hostile, then your guilt is just taking their side, an act of self betrayal and really insane.
Calling them a (fill in name here) doesn’t help either. Do you actually want to talk to them long enough to call them an insult anyhow? I actually occasionally do insult people. It has a very practical use. Sometimes the person refuses to recognize the state of how things are. They think that I am obligated to like them, or satisfy their sense of “justice”. That I have to apologize for something I feel, and won’t leave me alone until a confrontation happens. They get their confrontation, but I satisfy myself, not them.
I would only use it if they were clearly being in my face, the best insult is to not react. It can be fun to see them get really mad that you aren’t slinging names back. Oh, myself, I find the self righteous stance much too draining. If I really want to insult someone, and it seems to be necessary, I see no reason why I shouldn’t do as I feel. For others, that detached stance does suit their temperament better, and is the right choice for them.
Yes, it suits me. I save my insults for my friends. Who can do it back and have fun with it. Ah yes, smack talk as they say, can be all in good fun.
I can insult someone, and it be simply an expression of the facts. Yes, you don’t have to be vulgar to be insulting either. A nice blunt reality check can be very shocking to their system.
I am never vulgar. I try not to swear if I can help it. I swear little, but only because the words have very limited usefulness, and if I’m going to talk I want my effort to be useful.
Where did swearing come from anyway? Hmm, swearing originally was condemnation and had spiritual overtones, but became simplified, though still not disconnected from its roots, in that “calling names” was said to have a real world effect on the person.
Ah, like to be damned? Exactly like that. “Damn you” was a real threat stating you wished their fate to be that. That you willed that for them was very metaphysical. In fact, this is maybe why some like to be “talked dirty to” during sexual intimacy. Being spoken to in that way gives them permission to be that way, and they want to be that way.
It can be fun if you are not normally talked to that way. A sort of role reversal? Yes, but pointless otherwise. If you can’t beat your conditioning you can join it, and enjoy what people have trained you into thinking is “dirty” anyhow.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.One World class participants. Thank you!)