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Defeat of Ego
Is the frustration invalid because it’s “bad“? Some people avoid any and all frustration like they aren’t allowed to be frustrated for some reason. I can get very frustrated, but I have no reason to resent anyone. I can’t blame them for options I don’t have, because I do have them, and I take them. If I had not taken it up myself, I would be a product of the system, but my temperament flew in the face of rote education. Does a placid person seek more than what they are immediately offered?
The placid person is never disturbed. The placid person is a cultivated front. You may know people who fake it. There are people who take refuge in a “placid” stance, and even claim moral superiority in it. The “everything is always okay” syndrome. Are these healthy people in your view? To make a silly movie lampoon “I see breakable people … they are everywhere .. but they don’t know they are breakable!” (Sixth Sense) I see stress daily. In everyone to some degree and many people on the verge of breaking, and they call me strange for wanting to stay home.
There is another option, and it is the basis of a lot of mysticism. You can knowingly and deliberately let yourself break. Let there be a defeat of ego. Do it more often in smaller ways. We can’t heal without respecting the pain. This happens with doctors sometimes, you say my stomach hurts and they say it’s in your head. How well does that work? We are whole people not parts, and if you would see great good in yourself, you would also need to accept the presence of the darkness.
Society has broken us into parts and teaches a bad lesson. And worse than seeing our bodies as parts, they see our minds that way too, and teach us that that is the way things are with people.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.
Travis Saunders
Dragon Intuitive
~science,mysticism,spirituality~
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I would say i fit into that category of feeling it, but not showing it obviously enough. I will vocalize my frustration when I feel the need. But I dont usually get worked up over small things that I can not control the outcome of.
Sometime to the chargrin of my husband who thinks because I dont react as strongly, that I dont care. Yelling and throwing stuff around doesnt solve anything, but I suppose the release is important. You did mention allowig the ego to be defeated in small ways. Could you go into more detail about that?
Your ego, or concept of self, is what you’re holding onto by not allowing those emotions. Your “I’m rational” concept of self is holding you back, and keeping you from intimacy with your husband.
You need to allow the expression, and perhaps let it out at first over small things. If trying to do this in “crisis”, it could go horribly wrong. So you should not wait for crisis. Taking “safe” space first is a viable step toward a more healthy intimacy. Perhaps agreement and understanding with your husband can also be helpful for him, and might even comfort him though you may not think so.
Be well,