Any experience you have that does not bring you peace, you failed to accept. To the degree you feel removed from a peaceful state, you have a list of rejections.
In enochian magick, there are many levels to heaven, the heavens. There is mention of this made even in the orthodox bible. Most people think of heaven or the heavens as being more or less the same as outer space, some far removed celestial realm, but in fact heaven / the heavens are the realm of immanence, the implicate order that our physical reality is based on. The kingdom of god is within. Even Roman Catholicism speaks of revelation through interlocution, an inner voice.
Everyone familiar with transcendental meditation? Well, there are references to these techniques even in the bible about going into your closet which was originally a word meaning a cloister or place of isolation, and dwelling upon the word of god.
For prayer and fasting. Yes.
Getting to a state of no words by repeating words? Yes. In enochian magick is specifically a prayer of evocation that serves as the first and only outward key to revealing the presence and operation of the aethyrs or airs, aka heavens, in the world around you. The rest of enochian lore serves to help people understand their experiences once they succeed in achieving the transcendent experience offered by the key.
According to this system, the operation of the whole world is governed by the functions of angels as they take place on each of the levels of heaven, and the closer you move to the first emanation the deeper and more complex your understanding of the world, the universe, and gods will, can become.
At the outer heaven, the sort of borderland of the kingdom of god, there are four watchtowers. These are just the most material expression of the divine order. The four watchtowers correspond roughly to the four states of matter. The fifth element is accounted for by taking the four elemental matrixes or tablets together as a whole. Having an understanding of one of the elemental tablets offers an understanding of the workings of one facet of our world, but the functions of the deeper order are unintelligible if you try to use any of the four tablets alone. What these tablets are is the same as the four watchtowers themselves, matrices of language and principles, each serving as a command center for their respective sectors.
We can depict these matrixes on paper, but the diagrams we draw just serve as tools for focusing our awareness. The principle came before the diagrams, so not only do the watchtowers serve as a blueprint for physical reality, but they also map the roads deeper into the divine realm, showing the relationships and geometry / geography of the heavens.
Used strictly in this sense, you already have an understanding that could theoretically lead down the same path that Enoch followed, direct ascension into heaven which is also what they say Jesus did and perhaps not unlike the path of the Buddha. Understanding the unity of all things, you achieve liberation from the gross physical level of existence. It ceases to be necessary to experience that. This is even described in the kabbalah. The opposite of this liberation would be for your soul to become a dybbuk, so lost in physical creation that you begin to parasitize other beings on the path of returning to god.
Vengeful spirit? More like profane or criminal spirit. It isn’t even as meaningful as revenge.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.