Any experience you have that does not bring you peace, you failed to accept. To the degree you feel removed from a peaceful state, you have a list of rejections.
I have one last bit, one last question to explore. Do you change? Which can also be expressed as, do you ever learn?
I would say the conscious does but the subconscious stays the same. Then the conscious doesn’t. Eventually, the subconscious pulls the conscious back into line with itself. This is why you have those things you do and say, that way you always behave, and you have no real idea why. The conscious mind doesn’t do change. It does study, analysis, comparison and rehearsal, but the subconscious mind does change, or at least can.
Ever notice how incoherent your dreams seem? Even how difficult it can be to plan when you have a lot of options? Or really just when you aren’t sure of your choices?
Your subconscious mind averages out your daily experiences, not your thoughts. It can’t process those very well. It averages out coffee or tea, walking or sitting all day. Would you say your little daily choices seem at all related to each other? Does your television viewing or reading follow a unified theme?
Some of it, the soaps. Well, when those little choices are scattered, then your subconscious loses it’s sense of direction. A subconscious mind, that goes in too many directions, goes in no direction at all. This is why it seems the subconscious mind fails to change.
What, say an autistic mind does, or a badly brain damaged mind, is attempt to recover its sense of orientation so it narrows its range of focus, its range of interests, rather than broadening them. This is actually not any more adaptive than scattered choices. Is this making any sense at all?
Both kinds of people are looking for the same thing. One thing that would let them handle change well, the sense of agency, the sense of self, when all those little choices reflect not external patterns, but internal self awareness, knowledge of your own heart, honoring the spirit of your own views, your own values, then both the conscious and subconscious minds will begin moving in the same direction. You will begin to perceive more depth in your experience, more meaning in both your own stories and those of others, and you will make fully informed choices about your life path based not on what you are (and what people have told you are is a ‘what’ not a person), but who you actually are.
I do hope you found value here.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.