What you think, you do. What you do, you experience. What you experience, you feel. Be conscious of that cycle and you can know freedom.
There is the fear of insecurity and to choose is to change. To choose is to admit you needed to choose. That something had to change. People fear this like it was a threat to their own lives and to their place in the herd. Truth be told the answer is readily at hand, but not in the modern institution of education which is just programming. The atenaeum, the old mystery schools, the real gymnasium, the renaissance informal colleges, these were the true spirit of education.
Institutions of education are serving commerce now. The ancient mystery sects were about empowering the individual. A peerage of seekers who saw the power in understanding and were seeking it for its actual impact on life. The real betterment of mankind, not just the furtherance of some abstract concept of progress. They used intuitive metaphor thus they were called mystery. Not because the knowledge was reserved, but because it was a deep understanding. Perhaps not readily available for one who would not give it the time and attention. There are some cultures that through tradition and more forward thinking do exactly that. They are trying to recover the baby from the thrown out bathwater, yet many were ground under the heal of commercialism.
You can choose as far as you can see in your minds eye, and the minds vision is a function of spirit. That can be a scary place too. I usually don’t advise someone to push too hard against the boundary of their inner vision. You can see very much more than you need. The more you see the more you are responsible for.
I wonder if I think too deeply sometimes? I would say many don’t think deeply enough. They think very broadly and too widely. Think deeply enough and thinking becomes instinct. My own “wisdom” comes from deep thinking. Focus and exhausting the object of my thinking, but regrettably I can exhaust people too. I’m an avid student and thinker. I actually advise people to take a break from reading though when ready, and move to feeling.
My research was an effort to control and to a degree avoid my experience. The knowledge I need I received as a child, and it scared me and scared my parents which scared me more. Only relatively recently did I return to square one. For me it was scary to trust the world I live in.
How does square one feel now? Like emerging from having been held underwater. Like catching my breath after an attempted drowning. A circle. But maybe I can get out of the dunking booth.
Are you getting in order what you felt before? Well, I was truly raised by it. The person I am arose from it. This is part of what scared my parents. I didn’t act right. It was like I was influenced by something they couldn’t account for.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.