Death. We part, but we do not part. The energy of our bonds endures.
I see you sister, and in fact today’s topic is about seeing, more specifically about acceptance. What most people think is acceptance is not. They think they accept something if they acknowledge its presence.
Acceptance is like a birds nest building behaviour. You include some ideas into your nest or perception, and you “fail” to include others. This is natural. You can’t include everything, but that’s not the essence of acceptance. It isn’t just about inclusion. It’s about what you believe regarding anything you see, the role you assign it. You can be forced to see many things you don’t accept.
Acceptance is much like love? It is in many ways like love, yes, but it has traits that go haywire for many people. Any experience you have that does not bring you peace, you failed to accept. To the degree you feel removed from a peaceful state, you have a list of rejections.
If you have to question it then you don’t accept it? Actually not at all. You can be at peace with an experience and question it also.
I always felt that if I keep going back to an experience and asking why and how I could have changed it, it means that I don’t accept it. I often feel that I must have made a wrong choice. Asking how you could change it is not acceptance. You could not change it. You cannot change it now, but you also have not accepted it or you would not be speculating on your error. We fail to learn from any experience we do not accept.
Acceptance is the opposite of regret? Yes.
I suppose it is also like forgiveness, forgiving the errors? Acceptance is very much like forgiveness, but it’s more, because it’s active. You forgive to let go. You let go to accept. In that order. There is an old computer saying, garbage in/garbage out.
This sounds a lot like the grieving process, even for minor things. It is like that, but need not be confined to grief. Acceptance is one of the stages of grief, and it’s more.
But as I was saying, without acceptance you edit experience. You try to fix it, thinking somehow that that will fix you. It will not and can not. Edited experience is like garbage computer code. It will inform any future choices you make, and the thing you reject will just keep repeating itself until you do finally accept it or lose your mind. Sometimes both happen. This is what leads to obsessive delusional behaviour.
It is impossible to change anything without first acceptance? Exactly, but even worse. It’s impossible to change without self acceptance, and how many people accept themselves? Not many. How much change happens? Nil. Anyone disagree?
As they say, you don’t even have to like it, just accept it? What you like doesn’t matter in the big picture. Enjoyment is for moments, not for your whole life.
It is the only chance to then get something you like? Yes. In fact, those solidly happy people you might know or be? Those who just never seem shook or nervous? They can be that way, because they understand acceptance.
“It is what it is” is their typical refrain. And they don’t let it intimidate them. Intimidation is fear, and fear leads to anger, then anger to hate. If you define the world as having things you must not accept, you will become the things you must not accept.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.