The slayer who thinks he slays is slain.
Fear of physical dependence as if I were paralysed. Describe that fear? Why do we fear physical dependency?
Loss of control over personal body. Yes, loss of control. Do you have control?
And a burden to others. Do you impose no burdens on others while well?
I can feed myself and get around independently, and take care of my basic needs, yes. Complex lack of control or simple lack of control, does the flavour matter?
Something in my character says it matters, yes. Excellent. I don’t want to be a burden. And you fear that. Have you really let yourself fear physical dependence?
Not yet, no. Do you know all those secret places it hides in?
Shall I share my own experience of this? My own “medical” condition has condemned me to be relegated to some flavour of incompetence my entire life. I have never established an understanding of the world that others would recognize as useful or productive. When immersed in the real world, in the social, practical environment that others live in, even enjoy, I actually lose my ability to cope, fast or slow, but I always do. My mind literally begins to lock down. I lose my ability to communicate effectively, to make decisions when called on to do so, to do anything much more than track what I hope is a trusted individual.
It does pass in time. For the duration, it’s as if though my physical body has remained functional, it has become completely denied to me, not just my body though, my mind as well. I lose all ability to engage in any form of evaluation. My point is, I slide along the whole spectrum, from as able of body and mind as the next person, the being what scientists are talking about when they mention the “philosophical zombie” imitating all the processes of consciousness, but voluntarily directing none of them.
So, where does the fear come in? Fear is one of those faculties that falls apart. It changes with your ability to experience things, and can change back. It’s mutable. I fear my own fear, my own ability to fear, because I fear for my ability to fear. They compare autism to Alzheimer’s, but it’s not progressive and is all pervasive.
So, in a sense, the seizure creates the conditions for calming the seizure. Exactly, it also creates the knowledge of the nervous system for voluntarily inducing seizure, though the tone necessary for fine control is difficult to establish.
You are free to the degree you can realize freedom. The invalid can free their caretaker. Can you tell me how?
By ceasing to think of himself as a burden? By ceasing to think along those lines at all. The caretaker was just as confined before they began caring for the invalid as they are when they are busy caring for them. Can you tell me how this is so?
Social conventions. So by not seeing their life as defined by their bodies, and sharing that life that exists both within and beyond the body for the invalid, they can provide their caretaker with a glimpse of a reality they may never have gotten a chance to experience.
The prison guards are also a sort of “inmate” of the very prisons they guard. Yes, the prison guard is by no means involved in their role made any more free.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be free my friends.