You can’t trust another till you trust yourself, because if you don’t trust yourself then how do you know who’s trustworthy?
Focus determines your reality. Your reality is more than what you see with your eyes.
Can you recall a time when you really only had one thing on your mind? When you’re doing a task that you’re really absorbed in?
Have you ever been in that state where you desired companionship and didn’t perceive yourself to have it? Ever hear yourself say you were lonely? Meaning you desired an intimate relationship? Well, didn’t everything start looking different? Even find yourself seeing things differently? More in that context?
Really, your life becomes about finding that intimate connection. That searching can often keep it away, but the state spreads throughout your experience. Intimate connection is within us all, but it doesn’t obviate the need to share with another human being. The instinct to bond with someone isn’t wrong.
That is an example of focus determining reality. For me, a big focus is my spiritual path. So much of my life is about my spiritual issues and resolving things in my life from that context. It isn’t necessarily better. Honestly, the Indian culture had an interesting view of the place of the “spiritual” in life in general. They gave it a formalized place.
If we aren’t supposed to search for these connections, then what should we do? See how they originate in you. Searching does not indicate a lack of faith or trust. If you try to see yourself as having it, you just trigger doubt. You have to find it in yourself. Be it. If you say I have it, your mind just says you don’t.
Example. If you desire romantic love, how can you be romantic? Trust that you have embodied the thing you desire and act as a magnet for it to manifest. When you are looking for something you believe you do not have, the only result you produce is the “not having” of that which you desire. Because you are focused on not having.
Another example. Someone has an illness like MS. MS is agitated with “fighting”. Your body is conditioned with pain and fatigue messages. So though you try to see yourself as healthy you still want to fight. Probably still have anxiety about what you “can’t do”. The way there is to appreciate what you can do, and do. What is good about your body? What doesn’t need changing? Neck up is good? So can see things? And maybe share what you see?
You are likely chemically sensitive. Foods that are mildly toxic (but we eat anyway like tomatoes) probably make your pain worse? I am not criticising health practices. I am illustrating that your body can still be your ally. It is likely sending messages that are important.
Don’t accept that you won’t ever be well, but re-engage life. Don’t worry about what you can’t do. Don’t try for normality. I have a rare genetic defect that has manifested as a “developmental” disability. I tried very hard to be normal and felt very alienated, but I only found peace when I accepted that what I am is ok.
But accepting isn’t stasis. So though you have limits that chafe, you just see them as limits you work around. Example. According to my condition, my communication skills should be almost non existent. This obviously isn’t true of me. Because I desire to communicate even with my “cognitive deficit”, I don’t let my limitation stop me. Spirit matters so much more than flesh.
Just allow it to be your path. Don’t see it as a fix. See it as your life. Don’t worry about success/failure. They do go hand in hand. If it is worth doing, it is worth doing despite success/failure. You needn’t concern yourself with your health or the “idea” that you were cut down. Your body hasn’t betrayed you, it has obeyed you. Trust it more.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.