Forgiveness is not permissiveness. If you shove me, I will not like it.
If you shove me, I won’t appreciate it at first. It isn’t pleasant to be shoved, but I will take a moment and look around. If you shoved me out of the way of a speeding car about to hit me, I will be grateful. It’s true that shoving is shoving, but if you work only from superficial judgement of things, you will do only harm, pointless mindless harm. Often more to yourself than the other person, as they may very likely just walk away from your self righteous rant. If you say you intend to hit me, I will hit you.
I tend to think the media covering extreme crimes are doing more harm than good. We have a reason for our law enforcement as twisted as that system is. We don’t need media sensationalizing it also.
A lot of times, when people react from a place of ego rather than spirit, and choose to react in a way that is contrary to spirit, it is because they are reacting from a place of pain or fear or both. Both of which, if released through forgiveness, could be in a sense ‘healed’. Yes, exactly.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean weakness. I mean, don’t be a punching bag. Sometimes you got to beat a guy’s ass, but afterward you can think, “He’s on something or had a hard day or week or LIFE and I won’t let that moment damn them. Forgive. I agree, but it’s still not about judgement. It’s reacting in self defence to highly inappropriate behaviour. Yes, you hit him. You don’t murder him. If you are pointing a gun at me, I will shoot you. But it still won’t be about judgement, and I won’t go and shoot everyone who looks like you. But I won’t allow myself to be shot.
So what is happening with the ones who would do something like that? Is it just them snapping? The same thing that happens to the “good people”. They snap under the weight of the same ideas that make the upstanding citizen so twisted.
Does it matter what is happening with them? It does matter what is happening to them, and it also matters why. Rather than saying to the abusive drunk, “You are not allowed to exist.” You instead look at them directly, with clarity of mind, and then choose for yourself what do do regarding their behaviour. This abusive drunk loves people. They fear things. They break down and cry. You don’t have to depersonalize them to deal with them. If anything, forgiveness lets you care about them more than you might have. Because if you are going to stay in contact with them, then you will make clear choices about the parts of their life that include you, which may actually help them. Can you help them if you do not do this?
I am not saying alcohol or weed or anything else is evil. Their problem with whatever they are abusing has nothing to do with that. Plenty of people have a beer and not do anything truly foolish. With forgiveness you won’t mislabel problems. You won’t say, “Oh, He is just a druggy.” This is why so many people get a rude surprise when dealing with the people they fear. They don’t actually know anything about how they think or what they are capable of, or what motivates them to do anything.
Hmm yes, many are surprised to find well-spoken, well-educated homeless folks. It’s a mistake to assume this person you are forgiving knows less than you do. I was homeless myself for a handful of years. It doesn’t have anything to do with a lack of morals, or skills, or anything.
Everyone can teach you something, but you have to get your judgements out of the way first.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.