It is good to be all in one place, many people rarely are.
My way of dealing with difficult people? If I actually want to exercise power?
When I choose to exercise power with a difficult person, I find that part of myself that resonates with their state. It’s usually bitterness and contempt. They only use the weakest spark of aggression, but I let my bitterness surface, my contempt surface in my awareness. It illuminates the world around me and most of all it illuminates their face. I can see the shape of their pain, the pattern of their choices and their judgement, and with a subtle twist of my own soul, I yank at the force that connects us and they lose wind, they lose choice, their sense of orientation, sometimes they even fall into “amicable” habits. This sound like farfetched bragging?
There is some science behind this. They are beginning to explore peoples tendency toward automatic response, the impact of emotion and the mirroring nervous system on conscious thought and choice, and they come to the conclusion that we will do anything to get on the level of acceptance. We act like water and seek the lowest level.
Does your mind ever clear enough for this to be different? Or to keep up with “real life” do you just keep changing with the paces, jumping through the hoops? Why doesn’t that water ever flow uphill? Do people even know what uphill is?
If the level of acceptance goes against what I am, I’ll stop caring about being accepted. Denial frees you? Gives you choice? If you stop caring are the original pressures gone? In my experience no amount of that has ever freed me, maybe that’s just me.
They don’t apply anymore. But simply denial of context just leaves a situation to run on its own. If you just decide it means nothing, well, it keeps meaning something to other people. It keeps running and happening in the world around you.
Yes, but I can leave that situation, wash my hands of it. Does the situation always leave you?
No, it makes me shudder. Does the situation ever leave you?
I can forget about it, but can be reminded again, so I guess not. Forgetting. I think that drives lack of choice.
I often find leaving the situation is incredibly freeing especially if you have a better situation to go to. How many situations have you managed to scratch off your list of possible occurrences?
Well, things may occur again, but hopefully you have learned from the previous one. You have gained choices by leaving? Had more than you did before?
Sometimes. What if you took that part of you that was at first engaged in the situation, and changed it?
Yes, but unfortunately, people aren’t so easily changed. They believe that, yes, because they believe they are their circumstances. They believe they are their experiences.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.