What loneliness stems from is an error in the development of a sense of identity.
Have you ever been genuinely happy?
Yes. Was it because of yourself?
No. Have you ever been self made happy? Home made happy is great stuff. Know how to make it?
Emotions like memory are mutable. They are the very energies of reality. We make an idol of any fixed state of being and ignore the genuine model that inspired it in the first place. We think that our experiences just have the emotional quality we ascribe to them, like shit has stink, or vomit comes from an upset stomach, or an upset brain in the case of bulimics.
In trying to find yourself, you have been ignoring yourself. In ascribing fixed properties to your experience, you have been substituting objects and objectives for what you really want. Does it feel like your life changes very much? Or that you personally can change it?
Not recently. How chronic are your problems? How often do you make the same mistake or overlook the same thing though you always swear you won’t next time?
Often. There is a reason. You try to hold still emotionally and move mentally. You try to solve problems without ever having problems. You try to understand experiences without ever perceiving anything around you.
You have an instinct, an insight into the world. Nature didn’t short change anyone, not even me with my disability even though sometimes I complain otherwise. We ignore now what we can do. We actually have no idea what we can do. How can you ignore what you don’t even know exists? Can you?
No. People always say, “I never thought I would (fill in the blank)”, and it’s true. They never thought they would. Thinking is that limited in both function and utility. We ignore who we are. We even project elements of ourselves out into the world. We can come to believe the world is bullying us. If you have never expressed this sentiment, I am sure you know someone who has. Am I wrong?
No. What you ascribe to the natural world around you, is you. Nature itself doesn’t make you do anything. Your life doesn’t change, because your life is actually your body. Your organism is not your body. It’s an organ. Just as your kidney is not who you are, your organism is not who you are. The feelings you have are your sense of your own being, your total being. They never move because you believe you can’t move them. You believe the leg isn’t yours. You convince yourself that it would be a lie to decide what upsets you or what pleases you.
Oh, I just saw that they can 3D print a liver that can survive for 40 days. Indeed, printed organs will become a reality. Weirder still, they can fill a cell with silica and then eliminate the organic components. The silica structure that remains, continues to be able to perform many of the functions of the previously alive cell, as if the fossil itself were alive.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.