When a condition is at the stage of thought, you can change your mind. When it’s become a feeling, it impresses the environment, and when it’s become an action, you are then stuck with the consequences.
Where does all this concern for dignity come from?
We want to be loved? Be loved without being the person who needs the love? Self-defeating situation, no?
We are social creatures. Even the lone wolves seek out other lone wolves. Yes. Really all of human thought is a road map of humanities social nature. So considering the all-consuming importance of social interaction and contact, how well are we doing as a society?
To rely on being loved for peace of mind relinquishes control. To choose to be loving accepts responsibility and control over peace of mind. Internal versus external locus of control. That is an important point of clarity there. We seek to be loved because we are told we have no choice but to behave as we are conditioned. But if we look directly at our personal potential, our real sphere of influence, the things we have any control of and therefore real responsibility for, then we can be loving or loved. But can we be both?
One is the other. How so? If you require being loved in order to be loving, then how often do you feel like you can be loving?
This goes back to the social nature of humanity. Being loved is a perception, a product of thought. Being loving is a state of being, a mode of behavior or self-expression. If your general disposition is “I must be loved” you leave other people to struggle with the same concern. If your silent message is love me, what can others think but “what about me?”
Do you feel worthy around the obviously wealthy? Worthy around the obviously popular or successful? Let’s take this obviously wealthy person. What if rather than behaving in a stereotypically “wealthy” way they dressed and acted in a way that just made it obvious that they were a human being first, just like you. Showed that they had interests and concerns just like you, rather than always cultivating the look of having it altogether.
We relax. That’s what happens when we meet a highly famous, successful person and they turn out to be a “normal” person.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.