If you are feeling lonely, it’s because you don’t feel present as what you are, or accepted for what you are.
It takes me a great deal to really believe in people’s innocence or good intentions, but I can understand someone else’s purity. If I let myself experience that moment fully with them, I can feel the genuine loving motive, and although I know it will pass, I can allow that genuine good moment to exist for however long it exists.
I have a different experience of purity when dealing with children. With very young children, I sense only clarity of emotion, genuine intention. Even when their behaviour is something adults would judge as unacceptable, I sense purity, a genuine heart, a loving heart. This becomes rarer as they pass the formative years and learn to emulate their parents.
They don’t understand the harm they can do. They don’t understand the harm and therefore don’t select for it.
I can identify with that but not the pedophile. The pedophile is actually a puritan. The puritan isn’t pure. The priest is seeking purity. Do they find it in the seeking? The puritan in my experience finds only mania. They are overcome by the very same passions they revile. They hate homosexuals all the while raping little boys.
When it comes to human evil, I understand it perfectly. My own sense of my personal wellbeing doesn’t blind me to the stress that goes on in others. Suffering perceives suffering. Suffering can see clearly the roots of suffering. To me, sanity and peace seem ephemeral like they might be the possible delusion. All I know is the behaviour everyone practices while they are busy telling me everything is okay until the next time they collapse, panic, rage, then all that goes out the window. Is this unfair of me to say? The world I know best is a world of fear, disease, chaos and betrayal.
So what do you really mean when you ask us how we are at the beginning of class? I seek to understand how clear you are today. Why I can believe in this good people speak of is that I can find clarity, and in my clarity I can perceive more hope, more of peoples good intention. I think at times people can perceive my clarity fully also. For those who have come to know me well, would you say I intend any evil?
No, and I think your clarity is palpable to anyone who truly looks.
So it’s okay to say things are kind of muddled today if that is the truth. Indeed, it is perfectly okay to say things are muddled, that you are tired, confused, uncertain of yourself. I appreciate honesty.
I was a bit miffed this morning. Excellent, I can empathize easily with miffed.
Be fully miffed. Yes, being fully miffed is best. Being is not the same as doing. Be fully miffed and do what you decide to do anyway. I approach these classes with intense anxiety. I do them anyway.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.