Want to change your life? Change your mind.
A bit about my relationship to shadow. Having an ASD (autism spectrum disorder), as a developmental trait, has set me up to perceive much that remains hidden to others. In the strictly intellectual task, I don’t have habitual filtering for “pleasing” images, so I don’t select for those in embedded figure patterns. I am likely to see just about anything in an ink blot test, and can single out any one detail in a huge mass of features easily. I don’t have much trouble making decisions usually.
But to get to the shadow part, as easily as I pick out embedded figures and details from an abstract pattern or collage, I see any “outlier” traits in peoples behaviour. The odd little quirks that don’t relate to exactly what they do and say, but rather to how they do and say it. Which means I see all the rejected ideation and lies people tell themselves about why they do what they do. I see the shadow world as clearly as people might see an advertisement in a shopping flyer for their favourite food. I don’t have the choice to reject the shadow. For me, the only question is recognizing to what degree it influences me. Is it my proper center or “home”, or like a fan of National Geographic, do I learn a lot about a region that has little to do with me. Since we are all friends here, any opinions?
I remember in one class you talked about being a creature of shadow. Yes. This was a tentative declaration. I don’t reflect others views naturally, so I can’t obtain totally valid feedback as readily and without the awkward questioning as the normal person would.
I’m thinking you’ve lived in the shadow a lot, and that has caused you to feel a part of it when it may not be your natural home, and you do help people to let go of things. Evidence to support the observation then. I guess maybe it just needs more reflection, or does it?
Introspection can be like that. Advice while shadow hunting… Don’t get too hung up on your “wrongs”. Once you see the landscape, you just get your bearings and make an informed choice about your course. Even if you are navigating the shadows as a native, you still have to do that. You just have to see how the shadows of your actions impact others and change course as appropriate.
I know I’ve hit on it when an emotional wave comes over me. I guess because for the most part I don’t go into automatic defence mode and the emotion due to the repression surfaces. That does serve you better than the “normal” behaviour would.
If something keeps coming up, does it mean one hasn’t gotten it yet or is it just obsessive behaviour? We obsess on what we don’t get. We stare at what we can’t see clearly. So it’s a little of both. But the actual problem is the idea that we automatically “see the whole picture”. So we stare at some fur, thinking we know what sort of animal we are looking at, only to have it bite us in the back or run away with the fruits of our labours.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.