I don’t put much stock and feelings in what you ‘should’ feel. According to those who say what I should feel, I should be a mass murderer, but I’m not.
I have scary news, and it’s terrible. There is no failure. No matter what you do, you did that.
Failure is the unexpected outcome, defining that which was not in your definition of success? Yes, but is it your definition of success? How many people have something that is genuinely their personal definition of success?
Is your definition of success a fixed goal, or a process of change? Why people fear change in part, is that the world can change and it changes you. You know you are a part of that process of change and it scares you, threatens that sense of self. Very wealthy people can wind up homeless.
People think it’s me versus the world. What is this me that can oppose the world? Where did it come from? How do you know this me? Who told you you existed? Did you? You are in the world, but people rarely think this through. You are literally in the world. You are part of it. It is a part of you. Any change you fear is your fear, and you are a part of that. Any change you seek is your goal, and you are a part of that. Who gets to unplug? Who gets to live in a snapshot of the world? Since when does life have a freeze frame function?
Do we want it to freeze when we are happy? Anyone happy? Do you want your life to freeze in place right now? It’s sort of exciting to see what might happen isn’t it? Change is what we decide it is, and we bring ourselves to it. If you are afraid, then the fearful change isn’t an event, it is a fearful you.
It’s sad when someone says the best time in their life was at a certain age. Indeed, it is for a couple of reasons. First off, whatever you were and whatever you thought you were in, where did it supposedly go? If you were happy then, how did you lose the ability to be happy? Last time I checked events just keep happening. If you could be happy then, then why fear for your happiness?
They seem to define happiness on the external circumstance of the time. There is no external circumstance. The times get in your head. Other people’s attitudes are contagious, and we think we can make ourselves better by changing our circumstances. Who has done that?
Choose your friends carefully, you become what they are? Yes, and that raises the second part. You didn’t realize in that past halcyon age that you are you. You were you then, you are you now, and never were you held apart from your world. You can’t change your circumstances, and not change you. You can’t change yourself, and not change your circumstances. They are not separate.
If you are upset, how do you calm down? Creating. Does the created thing calm you down? Does this thing have the power to clam you? This is perhaps a very amazing thing, so this thing has virtue on its own? Is it separate from you creating it, or sort of defined by what you did?
I find it’s the process of creating. This is why it’s good to destroy once in a while in order to be able to create again. Yes, if what you created becomes a matter of ego, and of proving yourself. When you do or create to prove yourself, does it calm you then?
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.