If everything seems meaningless, then you’re way off center.
Shall we take another childhood notion and see what it looks like naturally matured?
The childhood notion of inviting friends to play? That simple request, play with me, allowed to mature we would see that there are things we want in addition to company, as an addition, not as a replacement. We would look to our playmates and ask if they want to work with us to get what we all need. The difference between play and work would be really meaningless. Get the food would come just as naturally as playing tag, build the house as natural as playing with Legos together. Would there be any drawbacks to that?
Adults also want territory I think. Adults want self-image which they try to establish through holding territory.
I think having structure helps get things done faster and more efficiently. I have had work partners before, and we tried doing things freeform. It didn’t work out well either time. All that means is that games need to have rules in order to be fun, to actually be games.
Now as kids, what do we think of the kid who can’t run and play with us? When a child sees another child in a wheel chair, how do they react?
They want to look. I don’t think it’s to be rude. It’s that they see something different that needs careful observing. The child is curious. They want to learn something new. They want to look at the kid in the wheel chair, but they don’t entertain notions of what that child deserves do they? As soon as they understand that the chair means the kid can’t run, they want to figure out how the kid can play, what they can play. Do adults do this?
Often the child’s carer is over protective too. They get angry if other kids get curious. The adult worries not about their wards self-esteem, but self-image. They guard the child’s false idea of self, rather than letting them experience a true self.
Adults would just do things for them, in the best case scenario. I don’t assume people need my help, ever. I don’t hold doors open for people. The reason is this. People are sensitive about their self-image, and there’s usually nothing to be gained by challenging that, but in those moments when someone looks worried or lost, then I offer help. Then there is a chance for something real.
If someone in a wheelchair has a way of doing something that they prefer, they should be allowed to do it, no? Does society allow them? I think not without resistance. Many disabled people are rather clever perhaps because they have an opportunity and need to think things out more as Stephen Hawking openly said about himself, and they find ways to work around other peoples insecurity. Why are people insecure around the disabled?
Afraid of seeming insensitive. We’re worried about their self-image? If you see someone who is disabled and they seem happy, what does that do to your self-image? It’s when the disabled behave “as expected” supposedly “naturally” that you know their self-image is still up front and dominating their awareness. But if someone who can’t see greets you warmly and comfortably, and doesn’t seem at all worried about where they are or what they are doing, doesn’t that make you wonder about your own problems? If they really mean as much as you think they do? Perhaps it reminds us that our problems might be mistaken ideas, miscalculations or mistaken evualtions on our part, but if we approached that from our self-esteem first and our self-image second, then how would we react?
We wouldn’t doubt ourselves.
Myself, I make small talk with people who can’t see me, freely, as long as it doesn’t seem to distress them. I engage in light conversation with the mentally ill, and for the moment I share with them I don’t insist on seeing the world from my point of view. I accept theirs. As they are talking about scheming squirrels, they often wind up saying really meaningful things about life.
I’ve always wondered why people fight another so much to have them see their point of view. That’s to protect their self-image? Yes, personal point of view and self-image are more or less the same thing, and neither are the same as self esteem.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.