If you are feeling lonely, it’s because you don’t feel present as what you are, or accepted for what you are.
So in general, both the nightmare dreamer and the peaceful dreamer can have positive as well as negative growth outcomes. Shall I speak to the growth outcomes of the peaceful or nightmare dreamer first?
Nightmare. Ok, nightmare it is.
Nightmares aren’t always blatantly scary, right? They can just simply be confusing you. In the long or short run of it at least, nightmares are indeed not always blatantly scary.
The positive growth outcomes of the nightmare dreamer is you have a very tempered and often disciplined person. Someone who prefers to remain as grounded as possible and generally handles any crisis as if it were as much an opportunity as any other event.
The negative outcome of the nightmare dreamer is a temperamental individual. Someone who externalizes their every pain and fear. In constantly dreaming of themselves as the victim, they come to victimize everyone they encounter.
The nightmare dreamer is often a very analytical person. In each case, actually. The negative nightmare dreamer analyzes peoples behaviour and conduct, as well as appearance, for any sort of fault. Whereas the positive nightmare dreamer is constantly mindful of human limitations, both to respect peoples own hurts and therefore show compassion, and to know how to gently guide people past limitations that hurt them.
Mine sometimes remind me of an Alice in Wonderland type story or a Mel Blanc cartoon with those Dodo birds. Yes, Alice in Wonderland imagery would be nightmare dreaming.
The negative growth outcome of the peaceful dreamer is the sleep or narcissus. The negative peaceful dreamer comes to reject anything that might suggest they should consider anything other than that which pleases them or makes them feel comfortable. They dream of a world that is all centred around them, and while in the waking dream they tend to negotiate relationships with other people in the most shallow and superficial way possible. Try to get the win/win just because it keeps their world from getting ugly, and sparing no attention for what harm this neglect might cause… This reminds me of a line from a song, which now skips my memory, about giving people what they want. They give people what they want and expect them to shut the hell up. Those who rant about how they are not open to any drama.
The positive peaceful dreamer tends to be a hopeful individual. The hopeful peaceful dreamers show an intuitive sense of the best in everyone and every situation. And as pollyanna like as these hopeful dreamers are, despite everyone’s expectations, they often do have a hand in making whatever situation turn out for the best, and making whatever “problem” person show a side of themselves that makes others question their first assumption of what that person was. Anyone ever meet someone like this? It’s my experience that the negative outcomes are more common in both the peaceful and the nightmare dreamer.
Because they neglect the dreaming world? Yes, not necessarily deliberately either. To neglect the deep, dreaming intuitive self, is to cut the core, the very heart, out of self awareness.
I’m a person like that to some degree if I see someone being rejected for their first impression. But I don’t always act on my urge to pull out the new side of that person. It can be emotionally taxing. As in everything in life, even positive outcomes take work, but it’s also not as complicated as people make it.
The negative dreaming face and the positive dreaming face are the same face. It takes the same muscles to smile as it does to frown, and the tendencies that make someone reach the negative outcome is, well… The single tendency is externalization. The self projected out into the world always becomes a monster. The self in the world is the incarnation of the inner demon as they say. When you externalize, you are and remain a victim of stimuli. Whether you say you like that or not, you will either forever be chasing the next pleasure, or forever running from, or being the first to inflict, the next pain.
I’ve learned that is more important to work on my impressions of someone, and be open to those changing. The world doesn’t make you. Your life and circumstances didn’t make you. They are made up of you, and just as you can change inside, your behaviour can change, your perception and knowledge can change, and your outcomes can change. But how can they when there is no world in you, only you in the big scary world? Perhaps that idea seems strange, nonsensical. What is the act of eating, but putting a bit of the world in you? Or breathing? Or learning? Can you survive without the world entering you?
We are part of the world. So how can you live or know the experience of being the genuine self without knowing the world in your own being? How is it we get confused and think we have to put ourselves in the world, or even worse, destroy things to clear space for us in the world?
It doesn’t start with how we act, or what we see. We can only do what needs doing, and see what there is to see in the world around us. It’s in how we dream.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.