When your imagination and your thought are in conflict, your imagination will inevitably win.
I’d still like to get an idea of what I’m supposed to be looking for. You are looking for where it all goes. What’s becoming of everything, and what it could become when you get to it.
I think we get stuck on the idea that we need to look for a stopping point rather than just the next jumping off point. You have a stopping point, problems. When you have a problem, stop, rest. When it stops looking like a problem, then get going again.
So we want problems to solve? You want problems to look at. That thing you bumped into as a child very likely became your next play thing, but we don’t do that any more. We don’t stop and play with our problems. We try to rush past them.
If my biggest problem now is how to earn a living…then what? You need to stop and look at what you think is keeping you from making a living. Actually experience the situation and it’s elements that come together to make it seem like you can’t earn a living. Just as when you were a child you could find a new toy in any junk drawer. As you fully explore the situation you define as not being able to make a living, one or more parts of it will stand out, get your attention. If you compare those, connect them like building blocks, then what is it you are looking at?
Don’t try to solve your problem. What are the most interesting parts of your problem? What feels like it’s the most important?
That I want to feel independent but also not a person that would just do anything for a pay cheque. Ok, you need one more part, one more lego, at least, to build your solution. So what is the next interesting part?
Some health issues preventing me from feeling my best. Ok, that’s many more parts. So let’s arrange those around your desire to be self employed. There are likely some things you have learned to do for yourself that seem almost meaningless to you. They are just something you do. How do you cope with your health problems?
As best I can when I feel I need to. Perhaps let’s listen to your soul on this. Ever notice as a child, as long as your hurts didn’t involve other people, you always knew how to soothe them?
Sure. Look at your health problems now. What does that deepest inner part of you say you should do to soothe that?
Actually, it says to keep doing what I usually do. That it’s not as big a problem as I imagine.
And the other element would be, as a young person sickness or injury was not an excuse to do nothing. Remember that?
Yes. You still wanted to go outside let’s say. Well, your soul still functions that way. We are sick of our experience of so called reality, so called real life, but we keep doing things often just because we make ourselves. But sometimes from a sense that we shouldn’t be stopped, that the icky world really shouldn’t dictate what kind of fun we have. There is wisdom in that recognition. Your soul tells you that the limitation doesn’t make sense, because it in fact is false. A false front, not a legitimate rule or restriction. What do you think? Does this explain clearly enough how to problem solve from the soul?
Yes, just listen to the strongest voice. It may not seem like the strongest. In time, it does tend to win out. Really, all this real life nonsense leads to is pointless fatigue.
Most successful writers do this already and use it for their inspiration. Yes. So follow in through your memory house. Remember where you left all your puzzle pieces, and you will know when you have reached the right space inside yourself. You will feel fully present. Do you feel present in all of your memories?
The clear ones I do. Do you feel fully present when you try to recall memories? Yes. When you let your mind wander through your memories, does it ever feel like you aren’t alone? In your own head I mean. Almost like someone else is in your memory house?
It feels like I have a guy with a camera following me sometimes, black and white film. Ah, that’s your imagination. You are a more imaginative thinker than most, but your memories get rearranged in that space, sometimes upended or mixed in with other things. The connections don’t always make sense, do they?
No, they don’t. Almost as if a child has been playing with the stuff in your memory house?
Like mismatched clothing. Playing dress up. That’s your soul doing that. It does the same with your body as well.
On purpose? Oh yes. As immature as it might seem, it’s actually the opposite. It’s your thinking mind that jumps to premature conclusions, that stuffs everything into little rooms in your head like a sullen teenager trying to hide a diary, or a stash of something their parents won’t normally let them have. It’s the soul that drags it back out and connects it. Interact with it in inspiring ways. It’s the source of spontaneous new ideas, your genius. The Greeks spoke of genius. They understood it better than we do today. At best, the thinking is a very well rehearsed hack, producing fake Rembrandt in some warehouse somewhere.
The Greeks spoke of the genius as if it could speak to them and think on its own. This is the psyche, the soul, and the truth is its your waking conscious mind that ultimately can’t think on its own. It steals mind candy from the soul, claiming it owned it all along. The thinking mind only knows what it sees, and like a stick in the mud neat freak, it mostly keeps the mental walls clean, but sometimes that doesn’t work. Really, it fails to work progressively. This is cumulative over time, and ultimately all it knows is what it sees. The crayon marks on the walls of your mind. As old fears get funny beards drawn on them, and teeth blacked out, and new dreams are drawn, complete with elaborate story to go with it.
So, why I called this class self from nothing… It’s not the self that is in fact nothing, it’s the things going on in your head that you take for granted, your assumptions and the blanks you fill in, your rational understanding. I called it the self from nothing, because I wanted to help point out the difference. Did I do that adequately?
Very clever, yes. I listen to what ever sounds right. It is a listening. Ultimately, meditation is just listening. Listening to the breath, listening to the body, listening to the mind as it churns, and if you are open and willing, your soul will come and sit with you. Listen to the same things you are, and like a child it will point out the strange things, the funny things, even the upsetting things.
I think it will point out what is in me to write about even if I just start writing. Indeed, it will. It can if you don’t insist on strict control of the writing process, yes.
Usually it sounds like ranting. Kids cooped up in one room of the house get cranky. They rant for a while before they clam down.
Good, it does work. It does indeed work.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.