Rumination On Life


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Do you consider contemplative prayer to be akin to a focused meditation? Not really. It functions sort of differently. Contemplative prayer is a sort of focus, yes, but not necessarily formal. Ever notice that even without direction or making a special effort, you tend to dwell on some things?

Contemplative prayer is more like a context for this rumination on life and the world. Sort of a peaceful “seeing” of the presence of God without expectation of seeing anything in particular at all. I have some experience of it myself and you may as well. It’s not really as rare as people may think. Ever find yourself in a state of being sort of mentally in “neutral gear”? Ever find yourself noticing that something seems to be functioning behind all the “random” stuff?

Neither focused on a task or wandering aimlessly, but aware and observant to no direct end, yes. Exactly. Notice how broad the organization of that presence seems? Do you practice deliberately entering into this state to experience these moments more frequently? Sometimes, yes. I do so regularly. Find it’s taught you anything about life, people, etc? It shows me that existence itself is miraculous.

Are they kind of ‘aha’ moments without the stream of logic behind it? Yes, but in the context of a flow of consciousness. It has a surprisingly coherent thread to it, at least from a materialistic sense. Surprising in that sense, I mean.

I can’t directly say I have perceived that, but I can’t say I haven’t. It’s mysterious like that.

I guess that is the essence of such a moment in the way. What would a life lived in those moments be like?

Have you had an experience where you question your identity? Occasionally, I have moments where I entirely detach from myself. I think about who I think I am, and who I think others are, and it loses meaning for a few minutes. It’s hard to describe and is an odd, but not entirely unpleasant experience. I have lived with the question of identity. It has made it hard to relate to people. They expect me to have information I don’t really have. Can you imagine what it would be like to have lived with it never having had any meaning? This is why they say I’m “autistic.”

READ:  Living In My Own World

I sometimes get quite stressed like with our hostile visitor here. She had a personal identification with the topic, and I was unable to breach that view. Most people live like this with one idea or another. It still confuses me. Why? She informed me I was useless. I agreed. “I” has always been useless and not something I have been able to utilize try as I might. I exist, others exist. Use confuses me.

To me, use implies objectification. To objectify another being is like denying they exist. I agree.

Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.

Travis Saunders
Dragon Intuitive
~science,mysticism,spirituality~

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