Are you a dog being wagged by its tail? Most are.
Identifying something as wrong… Has that ever done anything useful for you, friends? Served a constructive purpose?
Is that like me saying I wish I had done this or that? Yes. Does that make you function better?
Einstein had an insight that applies to this, and it has been said in many ways by many brilliant people, but so far it hasn’t been incorporated into our culture. I will paraphrase. You cannot solve a problem in the same state of mind you became aware of it. I will admit I struggle with remembering this myself, but it’s true. When something in your life “breaks”, it doesn’t get fixed by knowing that it’s broken, or even knowing the details of exactly how it is broken.
Is admission not part of forgiveness? Admission is, but you need only admit it to yourself. To be able to let go of that thinking you have to accept that whatever moved you to take an action, or abstain from an action, was in error.
Seeing the truth for what it is and what it is not? But don’t “fix the problem”. When you fix the problem, you just make the problem stick around.
Perhaps admit I don’t know? Yes. This is why people have these mistakes more often than not. It isn’t that you just chose not to do it right. Very often, you honestly have no clue how to do it right. Here is a little secret… This is true of everyone. But with an awareness of the problem, you lose sight of wholeness. You can’t “make it right” and focus your attention on how it is wrong, not at the same time. It has been proven that humans have virtually no ability to multi-task and be truly effective at what they are doing. They have literally none. Your focus determines your reality as all your choices will be in the context of what you are focused on.
To forgive is to alter your state of mind? Yes. It has nothing to do with altering someone else’s state of mind. That’s well outside anyone’s realm of influence.
When someone comes to you seeking forgiveness, they are actually just seeking consolation. Affirmation that you and they are at peace. They cannot ask you for what they will not give themselves. That’s one thing that tends to be overlooked about self discipline. It’s not about never doing anything wrong, it’s about not losing sight of what is right despite your personal limitations. If I were to get into an argument with someone, self discipline is not about saying the right things and only the right things. It’s about knowing that I actually do not want to fight this person as that will accomplish nothing, and instead keeping my attention focused on what I will work to have happen in the event. Persistence in the face of error is only ignorance if your attention is on the problem rather than the solution.
Most people live their lives focused on “problem solving”, which is just having your attention focused on problems. These problems solvers ever want for problems to solve?
Oh, they can always make some problems up. They can and they do. They make problems up, not because they want artificial problems, but because their whole style of thinking is based on having problems to solve. Creating the problem is automatic.
Now an alternative. Let’s say you live in such a way as to embrace the natural way the world works. You know that everything is alive and changing and that with peace comes healing. That there is a balance towards which everyone strives, even unconsciously, and you just open your awareness to this life impulse or “heart” of the world. Would that allow for problem solving? Could you see the world and people in it as whole and find any room to problem solve?
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.