Insecurity is another emotion that stops us. Emotions are not inherently bad, though people often declare that they are, because they feel they are powerless to deal with them. Their emotions are how they are dealing. The emotion that makes us cuddle a lover or a child isn’t bad, but these emotions I speak of are stumbling blocks and are commonly misunderstood.
They need not trip anyone up. We feel like we should be able to achieve, and just keep a status quo. We get there and stay there, but that isn’t how life works so we feel insecurity. People get distracted from all of what they do in thinking about their goals. But as is often said, it’s not the destination, it’s the journey that matters.
Insecurity seems to be a serious mental plague in life doesn’t it? It comes from a false notion of security.
What can endure in life without energy? Nothing can endure without energy, not even us, and aggression is that energy. The things we love and fear losing, we usually lose because we get them and then feel powerless to keep them. This is basically universal, but we are taught that aggression is bad which means we get taught that possessiveness is bad. What we don’t acknowledge, we want to keep and we won’t be willing to put the effort out to keep, we lose don’t we? So we feel insecure. We get something then think it’s supposed to just stay, but that is literally how nothing works. Not money, not relationships, not even ourselves.
People say something like “Why didn’t he/she love me. What’s wrong with me?” This is a common statement of insecurity, and also ignores your ability to do. When you get involved with someone you start with a lot of doing, expressing, etc. When you are busy being in love, do you do what you do when you feel you are “married”? Many people dislike the idea of being married, and blame it on the relationship. It has nothing at all to do with that. The divorce rate (at least in the States) is very high, and I attribute that mostly to insecurity. I have bouts of it myself. It comes from believing you have something. Believe you have it, and you are forced to believe you can lose it.
In Taoism, they speak of owning nothing and thus having everything. That doesn’t mean the person they are talking about is disengaged and doesn’t care about anything. Quite the contrary. They care more fully, and pursue the relationship and career as if they were just starting. In my experience, if you would keep anything, you have to remain mindful of why you ever first saw it as valuable. There is a state of mind I put a lot of stock in. I value it enough to struggle for it despite anything else. It can be called the personal way. It’s the way of nature of self, rather than learning or doing.
Essentially, people rationalize everything. They think they have to be justified in pursuing stuff, but there is something that runs much deeper in you and all mysticism points to it. It is the only real security, and it is dynamic not static. You keep the state without engaging it, and that is the difference. It persists, but it doesn’t drain your energy. If you see that insecurity is not your way, that whatever you have is also what you have chosen to do, then it is very freeing.
Like trusting and letting go? Yes, letting go even of yourself and trusting yourself. Letting the life flow through you. It is like your blood. You keep anything by letting you flow.
Is insecurity linked to the ego? Yes, because even ego is a static thing. Saying I’m this and nothing more, and it gets threatened by new experiences. Ego isn’t a way forward, and it doesn’t allow for adaptation. It’s sticking your head in the sand. The trouble is, at times sticking your head in the sand feels falsely good. It feels numb, and it is a way of dealing with frustration and aggression. That is ultimately destructive to anything you would want to do or keep.
Doesn’t insecurity cause higher alertness, which I think is good? Actually, insecurity comes after the alerts. It arises when you feel that already you missed something. It is not present centered. There is a feeling behind insecurity, a recognition of what has survival value. But yes, they say a person who fears nothing loves nothing. So there is something real behind it. But insecurity as people manifest and understand it just disengages you from your now.
What empowers you is motivation. That emotion we also call aggression. Honestly, we deride the guy who really wants to get a girl he’s sexually attracted to in bed as immoral. He might be doing things that are immoral, but his desire itself isn’t. If anything, our desires, our motivations, the path of seeking and self expression is our most spiritual fulfillment. “You are your deepest desire.”
The security you seek, that security that is the only security worth seeking, is there.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.