The system of ‘should’ doesn’t seem to have anyone who’s knowingly in charge. It’s sort of like a mental virus. Choice is power. Should is force and static.
In spiritual pursuits there has always been an element of sexuality. But as far as the philosophies go, like many other things, there have been two paths. Seemingly opposed.
One path of austerity and moralism. “Pure” pursuits of selflessness, etc. It’s the dominant path in our culture even today and even in sexual roles. Though the purists recognize that women being given a second place is evil, they are still to a degree in that place because their whole right wing view still needs it to be like that. Regrettably, many women support that also.
Now supposedly men are the more sexually driven gender. They need the gender roles seen that way because men are supposedly the leaders. But this also creates an anxiety, because in truth men are not the most sexually driven. They pursue sex as a matter of expediency and often little more. Is this your experience, ladies?
Men avoid intimacy and complain of women avoiding sex. What they are avoiding is not the sexual embrace itself. If anything that’s to be desired. If anything from my experience, women feel sex crazed and doubt themselves because they want more sex than their partners give them. Of course we are conditioned into our roles, and women are conditioned to believe good girls don’t want sex. Is this untrue?
The “dark” paths have always shifted the other way, but strangely you would think the more aggressive sex would dominate those traditions. Can you guess what sex does? Though the woman to an outsiders view is being taken often in a dramatic way, she is being taken because she leads. It is the goddess offering and the men throw control away. Tantric sexual practices are about that. The seeking to reach orgasm arises not from the “dark” philosophy. That’s actually a right wing view. In Tantric practices the male surrenders. They see women to have more power, thus they are able to orgasm repeatedly. The male absorbs this power willingly from the object of his desire, but he must accept discipline. He must be willing to surrender and endure the sexual embrace.
In the classical Tantra, many of the feminine divinities are shown as fearful, like Kali. They are devouring goddesses because the male in Tantric sex feels devoured and lost in the sexual embrace. It is also an image that men have some fear around. So much so that a common fear of homosexual males is being devoured like that. And women see their desire to take sexually as a weakness, and not realising that they may take. As they say in Taoism, and is my experience, denial of inner nature is the only weakness.
Now a male seeming to be dominant is not against tantric practices. They use the symbolism of the females body as being the temple, the place of power, and the male as the supplicant. They describe the two roles as feminine energy and male imminence. Seems true to the gender temperaments in my mind. Seem true for you, ladies?
What do you mean by male imminence? Imminence, not eminence. Imminence means about to happen. Meaning men give form and follow the forms. In Tantra, men keep the discipline of “male continence”, and many of the Tantric poses exist as both symbols and aids to male continence. Withholding the male orgasm because men can have the neural components of orgasm even without ejaculation. With the disciplines, they can reach a level of sexual ecstasy that approaches the feminine capacity. In Tantric practices, there is no difference between sexual and spiritual ecstasy. They seek ecstasy as a spiritual union with the greater divinity.
The stumbling block for some men is being very steeped in the right hand mysticism. They don’t realize that in Tantra the root isn’t vulgar and to be transcended. It’s not. It is the fount of all power for the other chakras. If he would permit it, the orgasm without ejaculation would empower all the centers whether he thinks them holy or not. The more he immerses himself in that experience the more it will ennoble and empower him. Experience hopefully will reach him. For a woman, it’s likely more instinctive.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.