“It’s a luxury to be understood.” Ralph Waldo Emerson. A mission to understand. Know thyself.
Your “word” is your way of being in the world? Yes. Every time you tell yourself you know what you saw, that you know what happened, or how you feel and what you want, you are making a promise to yourself. It’s an effort to make yourself feel more comfortable. Regardless of how much you swear you know what makes you tick, know who you are and what you want, well… How often does this matter in your day to day experiences?
You lie to yourself by claiming the self you have chosen to believe in. You lie to yourself whenever you represent yourself in ways that you never actualize and this has an impact over time. It builds up a crushing emotional weight and in time leads to an all too common apathy where people just “go with the flow” and it doesn’t matter what that flow is or where it’s going. Is this fair to say?
Can I know who I am if I’ve been brainwashed to think I must cater to others? Yes, but I have to finish the idea before I explain that. You might think that personal lie is harmless, yes? What does it matter if you disappoint yourself as long as you don’t hurt others?
Yeah. “Once you can fake sincerity, you’ve got it made.”
It even seems to be advocated in the ‘fake it till you make it’ idea.
You break every promise you make to anyone and everyone else by breaking that promise to yourself. You may believe that you will always love your partner, but you haven’t begun to honestly love your partner. If all you are doing is repeating the behaviour you expect is called for in an intimate relationship, you are giving them dollar store time and energy, a cheap knock off of the love you personally could express, by going through the motions.
I feel the dollar store treatment a lot these days. I’m probably giving it as well.
I call folks who do that “redacted persons.”
Young people often swear they want to make the world a better place, and they swear they mean it. You can see the emotion in their eyes, but all they know of themselves and what they have in themselves to do, of how they really perceive things and how they really imagine things could be, well… They actually don’t. They wind up regurgitating the same old behaviours, the same old thoughts and visions for the future, struggling for a time to reinvent the wheel, make a better mouse trap.
They live in their imaginations? They do not live in their own imaginations, they live in everyone else’s. They are so conditioned by what everyone else imagines is important about them, trying to live up to expectations, that they live down to the base line, and again things wind up as ashes to ashes, dust to dust. But we are not ashes. We are not dust. We are star dust. We are fire and an endless radio cry echoing across the universe. This fire doesn’t translate well to mechanistic thinking. This is why nuclear reactors have been an iffy technology at best, and why nuclear weapons could still seriously scar and sterilize the world.
More noise? Yes, but noise is not the rule. Entropy and survival of the fittest are not the rule. Even recent biology research is beginning to say otherwise. Sharing is the rule, broadcast, communication.
This is too abstract I know, so maybe I can bring it back down to earth…
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.