'Friendship' Articles
If you would have wisdom, you can have it only from one source. You don’t get to pick and choose. Any idea of how things are that doesn’t embrace life as it is, and human beings as they are, will inevitably fail and will fail repeatedly. Are you tired yet?
Trust is the first and perhaps primary element of friendship. I trust everyone, at least when I have been in contact with them long enough, because I totally ignore social image. Each person has their own nature, and they also have their social image. These tend not to connect. The reason we cannot trust each other and the reason many people come to trust me, is this self nature versus social image split.
“Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great.” Mark Twain (American Humorist, Writer and Lecturer. 1835-1910)
“One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.” Clifton Fadiman (American radio Host, Author and Editor 1904-1999)
Trust Is First
Friendship. A relatively recent study in the States shows that 1 in 4 people state they have no close friendships. You would think that friendship would be a clear thing and perhaps one of the simplest parts of human experience, but is it? It gets over analysed a lot. People have a lot of insecurities, and in our culture at least, there is an expectation put on us of independence that gets in the way. We live in a culture where it is difficult to trust, and in the west we tend to be especially guarded. So establishing real connections… Seek More
Human Contradictions
Friendship is seen among other living creatures. This is a fact. In Canada, there is a bird that teams with wolverines. It has even developed a call that is specifically wolverine attention getting. They lead them to trees because they know the wolverine will knock a bee hive down. It’s hunting, just cooperation. The wolverine knocks down the hive and eats the honey. The bird eats the wax. People that choose to be reclusive are often misjudged as being bad people, or people that prefer animals to people friends. I can understand why. Animals don’t expect much, just love and attention.… Seek More
Self Nature Vs Social Image
Trust is simple. Do you believe the weather is out to get you or that an object meant to trip you? There is such a thing as human nature, but it isn’t a single uniform template. Each person has their own nature, and they also have their social image. These tend not to connect. Mostly, people focus on their social image. I’m a father. I’m a husband. I’m a professional. And lose any experience of their self nature. Lose even the ability to think about it very effectively. So when someone doesn’t conform to a social image, then they are… Seek More
Present The Real
You can be loved for your social image, and you will not in any moment feel loved to the degree that peoples behaviour toward you is based on social image. You will fail to ever feel really acknowledged or validated. The split is not actually the other persons fault, and it’s not under their control. That must be why people exclaim “You don’t understand me” in a relationship. They’re probably operating on their social image, so it’s more their fault then the others? Yes. They say familiarity breeds contempt. They are right, and we are intimately familiar with social images.… Seek More
Bottom Line
What is the human bottom line? Does anyone know? Is it the same or different for each person? Same. Is that what comes out in distress when people start to cooperate? Yes. The human bottom line is humans, but actually it can go deeper. The human bottom line is life, not love, not hate, not ambition or apathy. All the range of human behaviour is the only source of meaning. If you would have wisdom, you can have it only from one source. You don’t get to pick and choose. Any idea of how things are, that you build and… Seek More
Go With The Flow
There is what you think people are, and what you actually know of them. What you know is instinctive. It arises in moments when you aren’t immersed in thoughts of them. When a guy tells a woman, “I can’t stop thinking about you.” He’s not paying her a compliment. When a friend says they were thinking about you, they were not expressing a real connection. But inner nature does come through, because you seek peoples company without knowing why. You may even consciously think that you don’t really like this person. You are uncomfortable with them, but you will seek… Seek More
Do What You Know
I have made all my best friends in moments when I thought I was being the biggest jerk. Because in the moments when I was being the biggest jerk, I wasn’t trying to “control” myself. I wasn’t following any rules, only doing what I had to. Acting on my real values and not a set of ideas. When you think “omg! I have no choice!” That’s actually the only time when you are making a choice. The rest is delusion. The things that come up that either form or break friendships is not being right or wrong, but a refusal… Seek More
