The source of our regret is not failed outcomes, it’s false identification. We look at outcomes and incorrectly interpret them as a reflection of self, and declare that “we failed” rather than seeing the intended outcome as just not yet achieved. When we fail to achieve our outcome, we often create an oppositional relationship with one or more entities, people, God, life, the world. This relationship exists only in our heads.
What determines the character of your actions is the focus of your attention. Your attention determines your reality. Your actions will always be in coherence with your reality, which is your attention. If your attention is on cheating, then everything and everyone is a cheat. When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future.” Fulton Oursler
“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” Sydney Smith (English Clergyman, Essayist and Wit, 1771-1845)
“Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.” Jonathan Larson
I will begin by defining regret in contrast to other states. What does it mean to regret nothing? If I say I regret nothing, I am saying my actions are totally in keeping with my intention, is this not so? True, but what if the outcome is not in keeping with the intention? That is the confusing area, and I will attack that in a bit. I don’t often experience regret. When I do it is usually very transitory. I find myself looking back and evaluating. Asking myself if I could have possibly done anything differently to change the outcome,… Seek More
I feel forced to resort to metaphor now. Ever notice a tree as it grows can break even something much “tougher” than it? If close to a foundation it can damage it, so yes. And if not break it then grow around it, thus still negating the negativity of its presence? Humans are more quickly growing/evolving than trees and this is universal. How would you folks say I communicate in text? Fine. Well enough. Very well. Certainly well enough for most. You make the effort to ensure your meaning has been received clearly. According to medicine I should be virtually… Seek More
Onto what’s right about regret. You can be aware of inequities in your intentions, and actions, and consequences. This deduction is actually very useful and a source for self informed and self directed decision making, but does “future regret” have the negative emotional load? The emotion is how your body mind gives you feedback on the quality of your thinking. I’ve found that regret sometimes arises when people I care about, or have cared about, make choices that result in consequences that I see as being harmful to themselves and others. I wonder if there could have been anything I… Seek More
What is static? Static is not order, and it’s not unchanging. It’s just unplugged, unadaptive. We are not meant to be neutral. Even if you see emotion as something to be managed and subordinated to reason, your thinking is still not functional if a zero sum is your goal. Zero sum thinking leads one to any of a variety of lunatic states of mind. In order to be true and balanced, sometimes you have to change? Move or be moved is the bottom line. If you will not move in the inner world, you will feel the victim of reality… Seek More
There is the doing aspect, being in the moment, but what of planning the events and adapting to situations where it arises? That’s its own doing, and your quality of thinking will be much better if you allow your mind events to process as they inevitably will. This will reduce a lot of the clouding and anxiety that makes perception narrow so badly. I’m reminded of Star Wars’ Yoda: Do or do not. There is no “try”. That’s a totally appropriate connection. Bruce Lee said: At the start, I knew nothing, so I studied. Then I knew something, so I… Seek More
I fluctuate back and forth between regret and acceptance. Regret is an internal struggle that you don’t have to do. I feel I’ve learned a lot from what I’ve done, but sometimes the regret of all of it comes back. I’ll be fine for a while, but hear or see something that sets me off. If you feel desire to revisit an event, then reengage whatever that state is now and participate. If you cannot reengage that state, you can engage the inner process and let it come to full fruition. It’s hard to even know where to begin when… Seek More
Regret is a complicated feeling state, and the mind has more depth than is commonly considered when we tackle our challenges in daily life. Let’s start with the root of consciousness, the subconscious mind. It has been established that it perceives only identities, presences, what is. In hypnosis, they cannot make a negative suggestion. Like if the hypnotist said “You will not smoke”, the subconscious would understand you-will-smoke and it would agitate their addiction. First I need to define regret and I will define it by what it is not. What does it mean to say “I have no regrets”?… Seek More
I make the point of being present in my life, experiencing consciously. This is a good attitude to sustain. It’s also potentially challenging as the mind is very busy and quite good at attention getting. This is its function, but does that mean we have to have even that conflict? The thinking mind has no intention. By any process of thinking can you be motivated to do anything? Perhaps more thinking if you are enjoying the stimulation of that, but even that enjoyment isn’t thinking. The role of thinking can be taken back from the habit of regret. In the practice… Seek More
If someone tells me their regrets, I can tell both their attention focus and their intention, but does that mean they are locked into that state? They don’t have to be. Why not? State of regret. They could choose present moment acceptance? True, but not quite as cut and dry as that. Your intention is dictated by circumstances, yes? If you have the circumstance of being hungry, you have the intention to eat, even if it’s not your thinking. And your thinking is dictated by circumstance, your experience and education. You can’t think about what you don’t know. If circumstances… Seek More