Vanity arises when you believe beauty is a moral or social virtue. True virtue needs no classification.
To feel intolerance is always to feel stress. That must be an indicator that it’s not the natural way for us. Exactly. Intolerance always creates stress. Is the joke really all that funny, if you know it’s controversial? If you don’t firmly believe in the controversial view, is it worth sharing with others? Or keeping for yourself, for that matter? Tolerance is both tolerating things as they are and tolerating change, which means having opposition to a formerly popular point of view.
Do you know what they call tolerance of conflict? Diplomacy. Diplomacy is knowing that someone may have a purpose or opinion that runs counter to yours and accepting that rather than defying it. Is it really noble to defy peace? Is it really admirable to risk insult for the sake of “humour”? If you are actually engaging in humour, it’s like any other art. It has to come from experience, otherwise it’s ignorance.
Even when the other is determined to fight you, you respond better when you tolerate their state. It’s the only way to accomplish any form of non-violent conflict resolution, and non-violence is more than not just punching someone in the face. Non-violence is avoiding punishing someone for their feelings, also. If I lecture my wife for becoming angry with me, how would that be anything other than emotional violence? If instead, I invite her to share her state without my simultaneous opposition, what would happen?
She could share her anger and perhaps lessen it. Yes. If she is allowed to share her anger then she will share the perceptions that lead her to feel angry, which would make it very clear to me where we might be in disagreement, and give me the only way I know to restore peace and maybe even agreement. Is there any other way but understanding? If so, I would like to know it. It might save time, because understanding takes time and can be tedious.
My mother used to lecture me for getting angry. I learned to hide it. Did your mother’s lectures make you any closer? Not at all. And making your enemy hide their weapons avoids war somehow?
Is being a hermit the only other way? Nope, because someone will in time come looking for you, or move into a space you were relying on to keep yourself isolated. Even the decision to ignore another can be tolerance. It just needs to be done with the awareness that it’s not about the other, it’s about you.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.