Your tensions are memories. All of them whether intense or more subtle are even potentially scars. Scars are not flexible, but for every tension, especially chronic tensions, there are memories.
They say adversity doesn’t make you who you are, it shows who you are. It’s there. There is more than judgement. Like language is acquired by an infant, there is a language behind the mind/body connection. There is a language by which the world is assembled, and having failed to acquire that it makes things harder. We tend to be more aware of other tongues than our native tongue. You will recognize Spanish being spoken faster than English if you are English speaking, and won’t have to try to pay attention to it.
In my case, as is often the case with autistics, I developed a strength. It’s an overcompensation for the fear response that is so typical. I focused on language, and though I use the words others do and I am well read (deeply immersed in language), I am because it’s in a sense foreign to me. Our attention either goes to or rejects the foreign, and if we feel threatened it focuses. If a dog is barking and snarling at you, you will not ignore it. This reality that people speak of, these philosophies, religions, I delved into them. They were my threatening animal, and the big threat is not the ideas themselves but the idea that it’s all relative…that there is no way to see truth really. There is a truth, and to date no one group has it. No one group may ever. It could be it’s not a static thing to be attained, but a dynamic. A path to be on. All I would ask is that people be aware.
My judgement has been judged to be impaired. I am found poorly fit to function in this world. I don’t comprehend it well. Not the people I deal with. Truth is the world, written in your mind. Truth is the love you have ever felt, even if you lost it. Truth is that you will age and change, and that what you see now you won’t see tomorrow. That truth is mine, and another’s different, yet we share the same world.
Fixity isn’t without worth. My physical location is fixed. If I give you the data and you have the means, that fixed location is good. There are things that are static, and the dynamic is dynamic in that context. You know you are moving when non moving things seem to change around you. In the long run they change, but for something to endure is meaningful also.
People who get classed as neuro-typical seem to favour a ‘truth is relative’ view. But that phrase, ‘the truth is relative’ seems only to excuse people from awareness. My truth I can share with you. Your truth you can share with me. There is truth. To dismiss it as relative, then since it’s relative devalue it. That is error. That is blatant cruelty.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.