Spirituality for Living

Let’s do a thought experiment, shall we? Anyone care to share one of their storms? Past or present, even future if you perceive that.

Hmmm, not sure if this is one, but I’m trying to decide if a relationship is worth saving. It is, yes. Dealing with an unstable relationship. It has winds, “hot air”. It has fire, “hurt feelings”. It has floods, “tears”.

How do we decide what to do if caught out in a physical storm? If the storm is just a light rain, do we run for shelter necessarily?

First determine how much physical damage it may do, and consider self preservation first. This is necessary in an unstable relationship also, but if you run for cover in a lightning storm that can potentially increase your risk, not reduce it. It is the same of unstable relationships. Sound and fury don’t necessarily mean you have to seek shelter. You might need to actually watch the storm more, if just for a bit.

Also in an earthquake, it’s good to be out in the open where nothing may hit you. Yes, and earthquake is just a geo-physical storm. In fact, lightning erupts from the earth, not the sky.

So any release of energy is a storm? And they all can renew, but can you tell the storm how to play out? Is the other person in this relationship as committed to the chaos as they may seem? Maybe they want shelter too, but are dumb struck by the noise.

If you and your friend were caught in a flood, could you rescue them from drowning if you were drowning also? To stick with the metaphor (and not go into morality yet), could you rescue them if you had nothing more than a safe place to stand yourself? No. The force of the flood would drown you both. You would need your own safety plus extra to save them. Even life guards know when to let go of the person. They drill lifeguards heavily in that, otherwise you suicide. This is absolutely pointless.

It is possible my friend is looking for a way out as well, but he doesn’t want to say it. He doesn’t want me to rescue him, so I won’t try unless he tells me otherwise? Hmm, don’t try, no, but you still care for him? Yes, I do. Ok, then I will tell you a little secret. Something people generally don’t know about themselves. What they think and what they “know” are usually completely different. This is why when you are watching someone in distress they may describe their intentions one way, but then busily be doing something almost completely contrary. Like say “Don’t hug me!”, but be standing very close and seeking contact like their life depended on it. Ever experience this?

There is a bottom line. Words are just thunder, unless you see the lightning flash. If their behaviour is erratic, spontaneous and out of control, that’s lightning. People very often are consistent in their behaviour even in the grips of delusion. Survival instinct maybe.

Ah yes, predictable no matter what they say. A snake will be a snake. A dog will be a dog, and short of insanity your friend will be what he’s been.

Unless they are really a shifter? Even a shifter has a central locus of control. This is how you could tell. The man dog would seem like neither man nor dog, not being defined by those forms.

I should base my actions on his actions and not what he says? Yes, but with a clear intent.

Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.

Travis Saunders
Dragon Intuitive
~science,mysticism,spirituality~

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Your Insight on “Unstable Relationship”

1. Jaie Hart on Friday, February 12th 2010 

   Good post and great food for thought. I can’t help but go to the source of an unstable relationship to solve the problem to begin with. We so often do not understand that the best relationship is one where unconditional love rules the day. Not the conditional kind where one demands a continual demonstration of love or requires love only on their terms. If you enter into a relationship with a clear mind and from a healthy and whole place, you would not encounter an unstable relationship to begin with. Ever fall in love with an alcoholic and try to change them? How bout feeling sorry for an insecure person and trying to make them see themselves in a new light? How bout someone unemployed and unstable financially and then demanding employment and stable finances? The only thing I consider insane in a relationship is going into it thinking this person is great but I just need to change this one thing about them. The conflict begins and people fight hard to be who they are creating instability. So, be aware and choose greater compatibility reasonably going in or be very good about truly loving unconditionally, accepting your partner for who they are and what they do and the cloudy, unstable aspects won’t have to exist.

   Thanks so much for writing such a thoughtful post. Love your articles. Have a beautiful day!

   Reply to this insight

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