When you stop taking things so seriously then you start seeing them clearly.
Are you your name?
Many people have traditionally and even in the contemporary era reacted quite defensively over affronts to their “name.” To the Wari people of Brazil, you are not a single identity but a set of identities, all valid, each depending on where you currently are.
If you are with your grandmothers family, among the Wari you are the identity you have there and occupy the role you have there. Maternal grandmothers, I mean. The situation may be very different if you are with your paternal grandmothers family. Also, your identity changes depending on where they are in the nomadic cycle. If they are near a fishing river, you may be a fisher. If away from a fishing site, you may be a farmer or hunter, right down to habit and ritual changes.
Today in our culture we often hear people say ‘I don’t know who I am.’ That reflects the poor state of relationships we have today.
To the Wari, other tribes are Wari also, but they have another word they use for those tribes that express separation. If there is a cultural split they use a word called enemy. If you have animosity to the Wari, will not trade or communicate, then you are enemy, but they do not make a point of actively engaging or trying to wipe out these people. They see them as existing on the same level as animals, to be hunted or killed in self defense if necessary. Are they wrong about who they are? Are they wrong about who other people are?
Seems pragmatic. Any rational reason to believe they are mistaken or misguided in any way?
Well, I suppose it’s prudent to always be nice to them. Actually, they don’t forbid argument. You don’t become enemy because you insulted someone. If you are unpleasant then you are just unpleasant. It’s when you enforce the notion that you are other, that you are not Wari, that you become enemy.
So what matters in living?
They don’t have to like you for you to be Wari. Do we have to like each other to be persons? Do we act like we have to like someone in order for them to be a person?
We don’t even have to like ourselves to be persons.
Often, when a person doesn’t like someone they will treat them as non-person, ignore them. Talk about them but not to them.
Do we treat cashiers as people most often? What about wait staff?
Nope. What is it that matters more than persons?
Money. For some that would not be a joke. For many it isn’t a joke, even if consciously they would claim it is.
Getting what we want.
For many they act like just getting through a day is what matters.
Are you a person to your employer?
Often times not. Or a resource?
Yep. And what is done with resources?
They get used and then discarded. Used up, consumed, even while also consuming.
Which is why it’s important to know your worth and demand to be compensated appropriately. If you can be paid your worth, you can be denied your worth. As soon as you sell yourself you are owned.
So, what matters in this world?
What matters is how you value yourself inside or outside your relationships.
How do you value yourself? To me, my cat is a person, just one who for the sake of necessity is also a eunuch.
Yes, “how” — How you do it matters, and there are various ways. What are the ways of valuing yourself?
All those ways that the Wari did — a different self/value for each situation.
Keeping your eyes open to others and not letting them use up or play you a fool? Keeping your eyes open, as you describe it, you would be keeping your eyes open for enemies. The word Wari just means people. It would translate to English as “us.”
That is the hard part. How do you know they are your enemy when they are being friendly? Indeed. Can you solve a problem in the same frame of mind that lets you identify that you have it?
No… Can you handle an enemy if you are focused on how much of an enemy to you they are?
No. Your thoughts are too narrow. They see enemies everywhere.
You would need to move to another mind set.
My feelings are still hurt by those who betrayed me and used me. I get angry so my words are too.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.