Not feeling resistant to where I am brings peace.
I will begin by defining regret in contrast to other states. What does it mean to regret nothing? If I say I regret nothing, I am saying my actions are totally in keeping with my intention, is this not so?
True, but what if the outcome is not in keeping with the intention? That is the confusing area, and I will attack that in a bit.
I don’t often experience regret. When I do it is usually very transitory. I find myself looking back and evaluating. Asking myself if I could have possibly done anything differently to change the outcome, and if I could have, would I have? This is a very clear minded view. For most people, self reflection is shallow if they even do it very much at all.
So why do we regret anything? The source of our regret is not failed outcomes, it’s false identification. We look at outcomes and incorrectly interpret them as a reflection of self, and declare that “we failed” rather than seeing the intended outcome as just not yet achieved.
It becomes about “who we are” instead of something that is happening outside us? Yes, and regret makes us evaluate our internal resources in an entirely incorrect manner.
The other aspect of this false identification that feeds regret, is when we fail to achieve our outcome, we often create an oppositional relationship with one or more entities, people, God, life, the world. This relationship exists only in our heads.
But isn’t the outside world at least to an extent a reflection of our inner worlds? The outside world is very much a reflection of the inner world, but the quality of peoples meta-cognitive (or if you prefer reflective) awareness is generally poor.
When we fail in our goals it means that some aspect of our methods should be modified, in that sense failure is simple a resting place for re-evaluation? Only if it’s identified as such. In everyone’s experience, they recognize they have fluctuating energy levels, fluctuating moods, and given time a more “desirable” state will arise, but most often they don’t see this in the process of the action/intention cycle.
You have enduring traits, we all do. We only experience regret when we feel those enduring traits have somehow been compromised, like when someone suffers crippling injury they often spiral deeply into regrets.
Yes, when something can’t be fixed. Otherwise they don’t have time for regret, and just sink into what is usually a half blind intent/action cycle, often repeating the circumstances that lead to the first injury. Ever notice some people seem much more accident prone after an accident even if their cognitive functions aren’t impaired?
Their confidence has been shaken. They doubt themselves. This should never be done.
I’ve noticed with myself that I can get clutzy and it seems to grow for a bit. Yes, but it is the mental trap. The event functions like a hypnotic suggestion.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.
- 3 Reasons Why we have regrets | 3reasonswhy September 27th 2015