You may seek surrender yet people don’t seem willing to let you, and they accuse you of not being responsible so you obey. But in obeying that, you disobey your spirit who needs the surrender to be whole. Where you may get confused, is you mistake surrender for obedience and discover you can’t do that.
What you desire is to move with the yang energy, in doing that embrace your yin nature. Do you notice you like feeling the energy at parties? You are not driven yourself, but enjoy the company of those who are? You will do things on your own, but when with another it’s like you feel whole and it feels right to do it when otherwise it doesn’t? It feels safe, but it is more than safe. It lets you ride and support, which makes you feel loved and valuable. You want to ride the yang energy, ride the light. You shouldn’t doubt that desire. Let yourself be that.
People feel yin is no yang, and yang is no yin. Your yang resonated with his, his yin with yours. The light can be passive. The shadow can be active. Devouring, because of the idea of purity. You fought to achieve a purity that is in fact false. The balance would work on its own. Yin and yang are in you. You aren’t fully yin, until you see your yang. Not fully water, until you see your fire.
People feel there is a should, but women can be yang also and they aren’t less feminine. Males can be yin, and they aren’t less masculine. But people mistake it on the outside, that’s culture not the truth.
All energies interact in contact and act independently also. Co dependence is an absence of energy in one, a short circuit. Energy gets dumped for both. One is independent, but does as much take into consideration her partner as herself.
People think wanting your partner with you is attachment. Sharing, giving and receiving, are natural. It is not attachment, or is it transcendent attachment? It still is balanced. It could be co-dependants aren’t attached enough. They create a tense attachment, a desperation, and really a false attachment. They don’t even really perceive each other well.
Detachment can be a negative attachment. Insisting on “your freedom” can be an enslavement, but having freedom within is wonderful and a partner by themselves cannot deny you that. It takes a level of awareness. Not even an open mind, but more of an understanding of your own nature as open anyway.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.