Normal comprehension is normative thought. It’s a virtual reality at best.
Intimacy is vital and most people have only a loose view of what it is, if they have it at all. Intimacy is the essence of relationships. You live and breath in a state of intimacy with the earth itself. You eat from an intimacy with the earth. Your body can eat of anything found here, because it arises from the earth. The earth, very likely, knows you better than you know yourself.
Now in praise of many females, they are more aware in general of this intimacy. There are scientific things to back this up, one of which being the sharper sense of smell and sharper senses in general. But somehow relationships on the human level get really deranged don’t they?
Wrapped up in ideas of what intimacy should be, whole libraries are written. Indeed, very true. We have this natural intimacy and awareness of intimacy. A natural way we bond with others of our own kind as well as our mates, but do we allow this? Can anyone name a way where our ideas of proper relating actually serve us better than our instincts?
More like fear it. Humanity in general fears intimacy. You are very right there, because the natural way would undermine basically all of our taught world view.
Everyone does talk about needing their space a lot. Oh, and to “think” as they were taught to think they do need that space. They even say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I think this is a half truth, if there is any truth in it at all. What is the rule in human pair bonding/coupling? In this day and age, the rule is temporary and dysfunctional pair bonds with few exceptions. Is this not so? So why is this the truth? Haven’t we all been doing what we were told? Isn’t everyone following what they were taught?
Fear of relationships? Yes, and it’s like having a fear of food. It‘s actually worse, as we can go nearly a month without any food. We won’t be feeling well, but we will survive. But our survival as a people, as a species, how does that come about? Intimacy.
That movie with Tom Hanks, ’Cast Away’. Being on the island alone drove him crazy. And that is anybody. People mock the homeless for being sort of strange, but is that at all fair? They are non people in general until they do something attention getting. People think by feeding them they are doing their moral duty. Is this really true?
It must be hard to have people avert their eyes from you all day. Or leer in disgust, yes it is. I have been there. I even forgot my own name for a while, because nobody cared to speak to me or ask who I was. But there is something deeper than this.
We fear intimacy, because it puts us in touch with a reality that is bigger than us. If you are in intimacy with your partner, you aren’t “in control”. Not in the way you were taught to be in control. We are taught the normal way to be in control of your life is like a light switch. We are in control if we can turn some things on, then turn them off when we supposedly want to. But are we in control in that way? Because we can make people distant from us, is this control really?
No, and grasping for it drives people mad. It indeed does, and makes future efforts less likely to succeed.
The deepest parts of the human mind think only in terms of identities. The “absence” or off state doesn’t exist. This has been proven in research that the brain literally cannot recognize absence. What does this mean to the subject of intimacy? When you think you have chosen to exclude someone from your life, your subconscious mind doesn’t compute this. The people you judge, the “loser ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend, they stick with you don’t they? Is your next partner often not very similar to your last? The reason for this is not intimacy. In all likelihood you weren’t very intimate, were you? And you aren’t trying to replace your ex. You don’t have to choose the next clone on purpose. You in fact don’t actively choose anything, am I wrong?
The same safe route. People date the devil they know.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.