Sadness isn’t itself a virtue. You know your heart best when it breaks, and you can come to see, that though you feel grief, your heart isn’t actually “broken”.
If you are denying some aspect of yourself and behaving for a reason that has no root in your heart, are you burned out yet? Tired yet? Self denial isn’t peace. Self conflict isn’t sanity.
Sometimes we must compromise to survive? Ah, and even compromise can be internally motivated. You can desire to accommodate another. That kind doesn’t burn you out, it’s the force that does. What you feel forced to do, or what you are forcing yourself to do. Thus life looses its color and though you live still, you aren’t really alive.
We tend to think the burn out kind needs to be endured for some reason. Like weeding my garden? What happens when you refuse to weed your garden? You have a wonderful naturalistic garden. You enjoy seeing what emerges next, and you plant the ones you like and that take over. You can just choose to cull what you feel moved to cull and nothing more. What do you like, control of life or life itself?
Listen to people moan about all the work they do in their garden. It’s funny, like it’s a rule or something. Don’t like weeding? Then don’t weed. Buy the ‘weeds’ that are pretty. If a weed threatens the health of a plant you do like, you will likely weed anyway, and you won’t have to make yourself. You will want the weed gone.
It’s a gardening discussion? It’s a peace discussion still. It’s a great metaphor for the soul. There have been many books written of insights gained into life and peace from gardening, which includes weeding. Like the book “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance“, it isn’t a dorky title. It’s rather blunt.
Spirituality isn’t something you do sometimes. They call those ‘sometimes’ things ritual. Spirituality is life itself. Any strength you have, you learned from an attendant weakness you also have. I have seen weeds make neighbouring plants more healthy and plants are like people. They often can grow in ways that they actually refuse to.
We are all response-able. Again it’s about personal insight. You are able so what will you do? The question to ask is, “Am I doing what is needed?” or “Am I doing what I have to do for other reasons like control or fear?” Look deeply, and you’d be surprised by the answer. We think things are needed, important, but look more deeply and they’re not. And things you might dismiss like simply telling someone you love them, you can skip that right? You will do it later won’t you? How often does that go wrong?
In Taoism, they say the Sage does no “big” thing, yet nothing is left undone. Even Sun-Tzu, not typically considered spiritual though he really was, said that you cannot call victory in full battle victory. It’s actually loss. He said victory is achieved before there is any fighting. You have victory in your life not from hardships overcome, but from self nature expressed, from insight seen and moment shared.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.