They bemoan the high rate of divorce in today’s society, but what leads people to make such a radical decision? I would offer that it comes down to whatever delusion people subscribe to as a definition of respect.
Dignity, as most people think of it, is an egotistical justification. They rationalize many things and do a great deal of harm because it’s their so called right to do so. Perhaps it is. Perhaps I am not anyone to say different, but there is another way to understand self outside of ideas of self-image and dignity.
In returning to our center, the center of our consciousness and instincts, we will find a whole self. We are meant to follow a way in the world, and we follow that way, knowingly or not. But this flow of our activity and decision making can occur without all the noise we inject into it. Without the, well… I will risk it and say pollution that people attribute to real life and being a responsible human being. Can you be response able, and not identify with this inner self? Can you know love and intimacy if you can’t share this inner self with another? Can you trust a world of people who present themselves primarily and passionately as a collection of false fronts?
For myself, I cry in public, talk about whatever is on my mind with my wife wherever we are, even raise my voice if a feel I must. It might seem like I would be a big showboating drama queen, no?
Well, my behavior is not as radical as someone might fear from one who cares not one bit for “dignity”, and the reason I am not acting like a graduate of the William Shatner school of self-expression is that I can reflect on my feelings as I experience them, in the context of all the feelings I may be experiencing at any given moment, and I make my choice of behavior based on my sense of inner integrity. No, I don’t have to yell at the cashier who is frustrating me. Yes, I do have to give my wife a kiss on the cheek in public. No, I don’t have to describe my private thoughts about her in pornographic detail around people I am not intimate with. This has nothing to do with any fear of others.
I bicker with my husband in the supermarket. We fight like the Three Stooges. Light bickering can just be a form of playful communication.
People are social animals. Live like your dignity matters most and you encourage other people to lock themselves down. Live like your being alive matters most, and you open the opportunity for other people to share that living with you.
This doesn’t mean all conflict between people would vanish, but what it does mean is that people would have a chance to work out their real problems instead of wasting valuable life energy arguing over issues of dignity. The reason I tend to avoid arguments is not because I believe they should be avoided as a moral issue. I avoid them because people want to argue about things I can’t even understand. I don’t understand why they think the issues are real.
It’s interesting how sometimes people would rather be “right” than happy. Even worse, whatever passes for right at any given time seems to be proven wrong in relatively short order.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.
Travis Saunders
Dragon Intuitive
~science,mysticism,spirituality~