To affirm life is to respect its cycles. You can offer no disrespect to the departed by living vibrantly.
I was asked to smile all the time, and I couldn’t figure out why. Then I finally notice that I have a natural frowning mouth. I am often told I look bored and upset even when I’m not. I seem to be scowling normally also. To know if I’m smiling you have to listen to my words, and I speak freely and play at will.
“You know it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile? You know that it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?” Bill Hicks.
I like that. For me, I have a genetic defect that affects the muscle tone in my face. It can be very hard to smile in a way that pleases others, but my wife knows when I’m smiling so is good enough for me.
I’ve been told a lot to smile and what made me angry about it is that this was a demand from people who put absolutely no effort into giving me a reason to smile. People use smiling and “happiness” as a blunt instrument to bludgeon you into agreement with their world view. Have any of you found happiness that way?
I used to smile out of nerves. Often it was inappropriate to the point of offending people. Like I was pitching the idea of enjoying life, but as Bukowski pointed out, those that preach peace do not have peace. So, more a plea than a pledge. Those who preach very often are seeking what they preach rather than practicing it. The people who have made me the most miserable told me to be happy. The people who made me feel worst about myself told me I needed to have more self esteem. Odd paradox eh? And the “happy people” often refuse to play. Why is this?
Though you have said to me before that making someone laugh when they are getting very upset can be good. Is that the same as telling them to be happy? No. Making someone laugh is not the same as telling them to be happy. Genuine humour is like beauty. It’s an essential truth. You don’t tyrannize, but free, if your humour can bring laughter.
I do that to my husband and he asks why did you ruin a perfectly good rant, but most of the time he laughs too. Did you need to ruin his rant? I believe in destruction. I think it’s why I don’t do it very much. Sometimes you just have to ruin a situation. It isn’t about being fair.
I try and get him to relax and it can wait until he is not driving. I don’t want an accident. Avoiding accidents is very practical. Is play impractical?
Oh, but the laughter that comes when one knows one shouldn’t be laughing can be a “godsend”. Yes.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.