My advice on fear is not about object choice, or even about control or elimination of fear, it is recognition of how intrinsic it is to your mundane thinking, and discovery of what sort of impact it is having in your life right now. Do you go away unscarred from your personal horror stories? Unmarked?

If the fear has you not wanting to leave your bed, then it’s a problem, right? Yes. If you refuse to do the basic things necessary to survive, like eat and seek shelter, then fear has gotten entirely out of hand.

I often wonder how it encodes in my cells. I expect it builds stress in my cells? Oh, indeed, it builds up cortisol receptors, which at one time was useful, but these days mostly not useful. That degree of fear can happen. I think a big part of the problem is not that people tell themselves horror stories, but that they immediately try to cover it up.

I experienced a horror recently when I couldn’t get my Second Life viewer to work. Actually, that can generate a sense of horror. When you become highly invested in a certain outcome, then some arbitrary event pops up to stop it, perhaps prevent it all together. That can create a sense of horror.

In my experience, a combination of my sensory issues and my delayed emotional responses make the world seem like a huge horror show, disjointed often to the point of meaninglessness. I came to compensate by delving very deeply into abstract thinking to dredge some meaning out of the whole mess.

Does not finding meaning worry you? Actually yes, because without a sense of meaning, things like eating stop making sense to me. Why I should eat a sandwich and not drink a glass of paint thinner, but I do find meaning, and I won’t do that.

What happened, and what is possible for anyone perhaps with recognition and acceptance of fear, is that my life instincts came to stand out in sharp relief. So food means something. Breathing means something. It has substance and depth, emotion, passion even, and with just a bit more reflection, I came to see my own life instincts showing up in events and patterns of behavior that I didn’t originally understand, like an impressionist version of a fruit basket, or a surrealist rendition of a Norman Rockwell painting.

My biology wants to survive despite any of its aberrations, and I have been able to recognize these same forces in other people, the insane, the brain damaged, even the “normal”.

After horror, the simple things like breathing are more pleasurable and meaningful. Yes, indeed.

Is that where faith is located, you think? I do indeed think so. Because I’m thinking faith is the opposite of horror. I would agree with that thought. Faith is a deep rooted attraction to, and recognition of things, that affirm and strengthen life.

Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.

Travis Saunders
Dragon Intuitive
~science,mysticism,spirituality~