Feel the need to engage more? Look and be moved. It will happen.
Why is it so difficult for some of us to find others we have a natural connection with?
I can speak of my case, and maybe that will answer your question. I actually long for a sense of being in touch. You get that when you can ask someone, “Did you see that?”, and they can share it with you. They did see that.
Now in my case, my perceptions are strange and patterned in such a way as to make them difficult to translate to others. For the longest while I just interpreted it as rejection. I saw other people as being hostile. That they just didn’t want to communicate with me. I discovered later that this was not the case, but I had to listen carefully to what they were sharing and find matches in my own experience. It’s like assembling a jigsaw puzzle. I know what pieces go where. I know what I expect to see. I just had to accept that other people could have those pieces.
So yes, it is often draining for me, but from time to time something clicks. I will say one of my weird things and expect it to evaporate in thin air, and not only will the person respond to it but will show that they understand. Then they share something with me, and though it has their personal interpretation on it, I still recognize it. It just takes time, and above all else being open.
I think we’re socialized to reject our weird thoughts. It doesn’t mean we don’t have them. Being autistic, socialization tends to fail. I am high functioning only because I am a talented interpreter.
Would you welcome some advice? Look for the experience first then notice the people. If you have a sense of the sacred, look for it where you go. Look at events people create. When something clicks, then get to know the people. Sound good?
Ultimately, people make events based on a pattern that existed before people. That pattern is still there crystallized in reality itself.
Care to share your story? Be well friends.