We do have a need to give love as well as receive it.
Now I will consider my own appearance in Second Life. Superficially perhaps, it would seem I am just another example of the dark/vampire trend. In general, those who are exploring this idea and role would prefer to put it down. Instinctively, they want to see a world of vibrant life and abundance where everyone is wealthy, and everyone is sexy, and everything is available to our experience just for the asking. Is this unfair to say?
No. That’s why the ads work. But they think that today in the world you have to take sexiness, take physical intimacy, the vampire image, and they fear they can’t stop consuming if they try, the zombie/ghoul image.
Identification with form. You hit it exactly. They think those forms are an adaption that will allow them to live, even if really living seems selfish or forbidden. For myself, I identify with this sort of imagery for another reason. In my own process of self-actualization I have discovered the nature of my connection to the world, nature and humanity. My perceptions work in such a way that things seem chaotic, loud and scary, yet also at times dull, dead.
Male and female brains operate differently due to oxytocin levels. For me the difference is genetic. Also oxytocin = heroine. Yes. It also is perhaps the primary promoter of gregarious behavior, and most people have at least a borderline healthy level of it. But even being deficient in it doesn’t mean I am automatically a misanthrope, that I do not feel a connection to life and the world. I feel this connection in the quiet places and in the chaos, in those points at the extreme of human experience. I do not value evil behavior. I do not condone abuse of life or pointless destruction of anything. I just feel at home in that space between. That is all I express in adopting a form like this. In Sumerian lore, this form was also generally called a “dweller on the threshold.” He who lurks at the crossroads. So that is one example of a difference between false identification and self-actualization.
So there is more false identification going on today then self-actualization? Yes. Even the proponents of self-actualization say that societal stress has served to undermine self-actualization for the most part. Condition us to try to confine ourselves to that same abstract system that our inner natures will do everything it can think of to avoid.
Can we break free with awareness of our fear? Yes, and then move on to exploring an awareness of our values. The core mechanism behind guided neural plasticity is focus of attention. To uncramp a muscle you must first acknowledge it is cramped.
Self-actualization is living our true values? Yes. When your attention is on both your sense of connection to life and your sense of your own life, and you operate from a motivation to explore and create and grow in this awareness, that is what the self-actualized life is.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.