Vanity arises when you believe beauty is a moral or social virtue. True virtue needs no classification.
To quote Kahlil Gibran about raising children: “Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth..…”
Growth is forward facing and runs counter to entropy. Growing up and being adult, as we are shown it, is a recipe for stagnation. We shut off renewal. We get lost in a web of obligations and responsibilities. I don’t say these obligations and responsibilities are wrong. I’m saying the “beginners mind” is lost. They can take the natural way and introduce disorder, entropy, and dysfunction. This is why dysfunctional families are almost old hat, a given. They are what the previous generation made them. The sons and daughters inheriting the sins of the parents, and by sins I mean errors. Perhaps degree of being off the natural grain. It might have started minor, but like shooting for any target just a little deviation from the spirits way in the long run will be a great departure.
Is that why people get old and then realize ‘I’m just like Mom or Dad’? It takes a life for the divergence to be seen when we’re not paying attention? Yes. Now even our greatest technology, our most clever artifice, can’t go straight from start to finish without error. Nothing is a straight arrow, not time, not space, not technology or mind, only humans believe they are. They believe they can go forward without error, why is this?
Ego? Ignorance? Saying if my Mom did this it must be right? Are children egotists?
Not unless twisted early. I honestly still have problems making decisions without thinking ” What would my Dad think?” That is a concern.
When a toddler is first exploring walking, and they fall on their little bottoms. They are very aware they made an error. In the natural course does that stop them? Even really make them hesitate? No. That is the proper attitude about error, but due to guilt we enter into denial about error. The little one doesn’t feel guilty because they fell on their bottom. The falling on their bottom just makes them aware that they are a bit away from walking. Their goal is to stand and walk, and every error is just feedback to if they are walking yet. Why is it different for us?
They will adapt by using tables and stuff until they feel ready to try again. Kids don’t worry about falling on their bottoms but we do. Yes, this is what children do.
We think too much? Yes I agree, we think too much and are aware too little.
We say errors make us look foolish. Yes, and the little one won’t think twice about pushing up on the couch. They won’t call it weakness, they will just do it and then look at or touch what they intended to. But it is about awareness. If your little one can face all this learning, all this growth and change, why supposedly can’t we?
The psychic imprint on us is a weight? We are imprinted in one way, but to claim free will we must also show how to properly deconstruct any imprint. That is neglected in schools and homes. They are too busy teaching a way to think. There is no teaching a way to be aware of thinking. Thus the starting from the little ones nature. Yes, they do need structure, but they need to see the spaces in structure also.
Tell your kids, I’m going to screw you up, but here are the tips on how to help yourself? True, a big help is if parents didn’t pretend at God to their children. God itself doesn’t pretend at God. God is like the child, the divine child, forever unfolding, expressing, and unconditionally loving.
Churches want kids raised in Gods image, what does that even mean? Yes, they want that, and it’s meaningless. The child is already in Gods image. We are busy making them sons and daughters of man.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.