We have a root too, my friend. The mandala of the soul has a center.
Is intimacy an abandonment of your own thoughts and your own will? No, it isn’t, and can’t be. There is no intimacy if you become a non presence, but in intimacy your ego is jeopardized because it leads to very real experiences of yourself and of others. Women do have an advantage on us guys, or can have if they allow it. They both differ neurally from us, and have experiences that can bring out their awareness of intimacy, and for our own good we should learn from them.
Lao Tzu said this very thing. Know the masculine way, but keep to the feminine. It is the balance. If we encouraged our women, they would not feel the insecurity that leads to a lot of our relationship madness. Tell me if I’m wrong ladies. But ultimately, don’t you want your men to be exactly who they are?
Encourage in what way? Women have a capacity for acceptance, but we give them a long list of “shoulds.” Duties that are supposedly all important forcing on them a very painful model of self, and now we make special efforts to deal with self esteem in young girls. Should this have ever been necessary?
It is down to the parents surely to instil a sense of acceptance and self worth? It goes beyond parent, but the chance for change is in us. Intimacy doesn’t say parents. Intimacy doesn’t say children. Intimacy says “us.” If you have no kids you are still us. You still model behaviours for young people, and maybe even teach them.
Then we all have a responsibility to each other. Yes. Honestly, if you somehow never meet children, you are still us. We need to model it for each other. Would intimacy as a society do us harm?
Media TV pounds us with image. It does indeed, and that is harmful. We allow ourselves to be told who we are. There is a lot of criticism about women dressing in “sexual” ways, and I think this is BS. I think any woman who wants to should feel free to dress in expressive ways, and should not be criticised if she’s proud of her sexuality. Likewise men, are we men if we aren’t proving our worth? Trying to bed women, or do some big ambitious thing? Guys, do you really want to live like that? If we weren’t told we have to prove our manhood, would women dressing sexy be any issue really? If intimacy were the rule then a man could just talk to you, and accept a hug, and who would think ill of it? A man could cry, and be allowed his dignity, and go about whatever he was doing without that manic drive to fix his weakness.
Women dressing sexy because they think they have to is very different from when they want to. It is very different, yes. It’s her choice and matters to her, and should be accepted. “Have to” is a lie for men and women, and the whole “have to” idea is what leads us to ego.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.