Your tensions are memories. All of them whether intense or more subtle are even potentially scars. Scars are not flexible, but for every tension, especially chronic tensions, there are memories.
Tantra is seen as dark, especially among the Ophites. A Tantric practicing Gnostic Christian sect for who the serpent was both eros and wisdom. Thus sex became separate from religion in Christianity. Most of the sexual beliefs in Christianity came well after the time of Christ. He did not teach them himself, and he even advocated for the prostitute. Not to endorse the problem that arose, but to support one who hadn’t sinned as they claimed she had
This is a great evil according to Christians, but recall who Mary Magdalene was before coming to follow Christ? If I recall, she did not wed Jesus in part because she was a prostitute and she was a gentile. I may not be accurate, but I will be on this. According to the Gnostic schools she was Jesus’ lover, and the apostolic succession was a lie because Mary was appointed Jesus’ successor before his crucifixion. The false prophets were in the initial apostolic succession and not now. Jesus both loved and respected Mary Magdalene best.
Let’s look at modern life. If Jesus were a political leader his mother weeping at his crucifixion might have made sense, but would Mary Magdalene not have been like the other apostles? Why did she of all others attend Mary, Jesus mother? The harlot of Babylon was Mary Magdalene. She attended Jesus’ mother because she was in a sense Jesus’ widow, and with the spread of Catholicism the Gnostic school went underground. The veneration wasn’t for the Gnostics or the veneration of Jesus’ mother who in the Bible was not in any way sanctified. It was the veneration of Mary Magdalene and the holy lineage. Who even in old testament prophecy was holy. The line of David was not permitted by Jesus to end. It wouldn’t have been. It would have been almost a sacrilege on his part.
Mary Magdalene is in a sense being given place now by revelation. Women in many sects are demanding places, as church elders and even ministers and priests. With insight this isn’t confusing is it? Even in Japanese culture, women are often the keepers of the shrines and temples. It seems to fit. Tantra is also gaining more of a following as women do take their place.
Your thoughts are welcome. Be well friends.